Masks Undone

Well, this is mostly a procrastination of an English assignment I'm supposed to be working on, but also it's been in my mind for a while. I did, in fact, make it a bit tricky. So ponder ;)

Misconducted lies

Mixed with deviled pride

Hatred spoken tongues

Speech with reveled sin

 

In masks frozen

Cold abyss awoken

Changing their minds

Drowning their faith

 

What one wears they will become

Carnival masks will come undone

Revealing someone that is new

In a body former used

 

What brings life, but death itself?

To balance us, we burn in hell.

Given up for sacrifice?

No need to die to prove a lie.

 

 Taken into perspective we hide a truth

Covered by fear and set excuse

Stories made, a mask of death,

Masks untold, with our last breadth. 

Author's Note

I didn't try grammar in this, meaning I didn't use the time to add commas (mostly) where they needed to go, separating the lines and such, but that shouldn't bother the story. Hopefully. Enjoy and tell me what you think after reading this. Have a cup of coffee over it.

Reviews

[TheDuchessDiary]

I agree with the others. It's quite deep. But I like it. It reminds me of the Phantom of the Opera (speaking of masks) and our town's Masskara Festival. :) Back to the content, the words were powerful and convincing. When I read it, I also came to think of the people around me. *Thumbs up*

[Red Brick Keshner]

Mores the pity as to most masks are not a mere accessory but a defence mechanism and an essential part of personal armory, else more persons would be recluse and disconnected from society. An important observation on human behaviour and its inevitable condition. Thanks for sharing.

[Jason]

Wow, great poem. I really like it. :)

[FrancescaX]

last line..is it breath you mean?
i like the way you flowed and honestly, it was like a song in my head.
you are right you know...about what one wears they will become.
for a time i hid behind the mask of indifference and nonchalance...didnt work out. like a habit, the mask gave me those characters and when it fell from worn use, i didnt notice because i had become what it was.
yet many people hide behind masks because they feel protected. i believe it is not their faults because of the sad tragedy that is their life as well as the habit of hiding and retreating into one's self because nobody can hurt you there.
just think about that.

viva.

[Michael Thrower]

Nah, I meant it how I wrote it. Different spellings. But yes, you are right on the spot.

read moreNah, I meant it how I wrote it. Different spellings. But yes, you are right on the spot.

“We understand how dangerous a mask can be. We all become what we pretend to be.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

One of the inspirations for this poem. I'm really glad you seriously understood this. Really. That's amazing. Thank you for the review.

[FrancescaX]

you are welcome.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Very deep and meaningful, shows a wisdom beyond your years, an insight that many never acquire. Well done

[C.C. Marx]

Knowing half the people I do, I wonder who isn't wearing a mask these days. Nicely done

[KillerWithWords]

This poem is real deep.
I can't help but notice the loathing you feel towards these individuals wearing these masks...
It would be so much simpler if people were open with who they are.
I particularly liked this line:
"Carnival masks will come undone
Revealing someone that is new
In a body former used"
It is the mask that is used yes?

[Michael Thrower]

Oh yes, you got it. I'm glad you enjoyed reading. I hoped it wouldn't be TOO hard to understand, so good :D Thank you.

[That_Girl]

The way the last two lines connect by the word "mask" is pretty brilliant. I usually hate repetition but that was absolutely perfect. Nicely done, Michael. Great piece.

[Michael Thrower]

Thank you Avy dear :)

[Angela ☄️]

I really like this, I ecspecially like the lines "What brings life, but death itself?

To balance us, we burn in hell.

Given up for sacrifice?

No need to die to prove a lie."


It's so powerful the way I see it, very well done. :)

[chillz]

I quite enjoyed reading this ,was rather trilling
the words jumped off the page for me,it came alive I added some dramatic music of course :)