Happily Never After (the Second Curse of the Horny Toad)A Poem by Michael R. Burch This poem explains what REALLY happened after a kiss turned the frog (actually a horny toad) into a prince. Happily Never After (the Second Curse of the Horny Toad) Originally published by Romantics Quarterly Happily Never After by Michael R. Burch Happily never after, we lived unmerrily (write it!―like disaster) in Our Kingdom by the See as the man from Porlock’s laughter drowned out love’s threnody. We ditched the red wheelbarrow in slovenly Tennessee and made a picturebook of poems, a postcard for Tse-Tse, a list of resolutions we knew we couldn’t keep, and asylum decorations for the King in his dark sleep. We made it new so often strange newness, wearing old, peeled off, and something rotten gleamed yellow, not like gold:― like carelessness, or cowardice, and redolent of pee. We stumbled off, our awkwardness―new Keystone comedy. Huge cloudy symbols blocked the sun; onlookers strained to see. We said We were the only One. Our gaseous Melody had made us Joshuas, and so―the Bible, new-rewrit, with god removed, replaced by Show and Glyphics and Sanskrit, seemed marvelous to Us, although King Ezra said, “It’s S--t.” We spent unhappy hours in Our Kingdom of the Pea, drunk on such Awesome Power only Emperors can See. We were Imagists and Vorticists, Projectivists, a Dunce, Anarchists and Antarcticists and anti-Christs, and once We’d made the world Our oyster and stowed away the pearl of Our too-, too-polished wisdom, unanchored of the world, We sailed away to Lilliput, to Our Kingdom by the See and piped the rats to join Us, to live unmerrily hereever and hereafter, in Our Kingdom of the Pea, in the miniature ship Disaster in a jar in Tennessee. More Nonsense Verse by Michael R. Burch There was an old man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He awoke in the night with a terrible fright to discover his dream had come true. ―Variation on a classic limerick by Michael R. Burch Although I prefer onions to bunions, begging your pardon sir, I still primarily defer to legal reefer. ―Michael R. Burch Anti-Vegan Manifesto by Michael R. Burch Let us avoid lettuce, sincerely, and also celery! Ding Dong ... by Michael R. Burch for Fliss An impertinent bit of sunlight defeated a goddess, NIGHT. "Hooray!," cried the clover, "Her reign is over! But she certainly gave us a fright!" The Flu Fly Flew by Michael R. Burch A fly with the flu foully flew up my nose―thought I’d die―had to sue! Was the small villain fined? An abrupt judge declined my case, since I’d “failed to achoo!” The Humpback by Michael R. Burch The humpback is a gullet equipped with snarky fins. It has a winning smile: and when it SMILES, it wins as miles and miles of herring excite its fearsome grins. So beware, unwary whalers, lest you drown, sans feet and shins! Hell-Bound Hounds by Michael R. Burch We have five dogs and every one’s a sinner! I swear it’s true―they’ll *steal* each other’s *dinner*! They’ll hump before they’re married. That’s unlawful! They’ll even *screw in public*. Eek, so awful! And when it’s time for treats (don’t gasp!), they’ll *beg*! They have no *pride*! They’ll even hump your leg! Our oldest Yorkie *murdered* dear, sweet Olive, our helpless hamster! None will go to college or *work* to pay their room and board, or vets! When the Devil says, “Pee here!” they all yip, “Let’s!” And yet they’re sweet and loyal, so I doubt the Lord will dump them in hell’s dark redoubt... which means there’s hope for you, perhaps for me. But as for *cats*? I say, “Best wait and see.” Menu Venue by Michael R. Burch At the passing of the shark the dolphins cried *Hark!*; cute cuttlefish sighed, *Gee there will be a serener sea to its utmost periphery!*; the dogfish barked, so joyously!; pink porpoises piped *Whee!* excitedly, delightedly. But ... Will there be as much glee when there’s no you and me? splinterings we have grown too far apart, we have grown too far apart; we have grown too far apart; or persuade us to remain? Drippings Kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’ by Michael R. Burch Kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’ the bees rise in a dizzy circle of two. Oh, when I’m with you, I feel like kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’ too.
Petals I amass with such tenderness prick me to the quick. ―Kobayashi Issa, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Dark-bosomed clouds pregnant with heavy thunder ... the water breaks ―Michael R. Burch As I slept in isolation my desired beloved appeared to me; therefore, dreams have become my reality and consolation. ―Ono no Komachi, loose translation by Michael R. Burch Submit to you―is that what you advise? The way the ripples do whenever ill winds arise? ―Ono no Komachi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Sad, the end that awaits me― to think that before autumn yields I'll be a pale mist shrouding these rice fields. ―Ono no Komachi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Now bitterly I watch fierce winds battering the rice stalks, suspecting I'll never again find anything to harvest. ―Ono no Komachi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch So cruelly severed, a root-cut reed ... if the river offered, why not be freed? ―Ono no Komachi (KKS XVIII:938), loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Wretched water-weed that I am, severed from all roots: if rapids should entice me, why not welcome their lethal shoots? ―Ono no Komachi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch If fields of autumn flowers can shed their blossoms, shameless, why can't I also frolic here― as fearless, wild and blameless? ―Ono no Komachi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Do not ask, mariner, whose tomb this may be, but go with good fortune: I wish you a kinder sea. ―attributed to Plato, translated by Michael R. Burch Does my soul abide in heaven, or hell? Only the sea gull in his high, lonely circuits, may tell. ―Glaucus, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Be ashamed, O mountains and seas, that these valorous men lack breath. Assume, like pale chattels, an ashen silence at death. ―Parmenio, translation by Michael R. Burch Stripped of her stripling, if asked, she’d confess: “I am now less than nothingness.” ―Diotimus, translation by Michael R. Burch Passerby, Tell the Spartans we lie Lifeless at Thermopylae: Dead at their word, Obedient to their command. Have they heard? Do they understand? ―Simonides, translation by Michael R. Burch Blame not the gale, nor the inhospitable sea-gulf, nor friends’ tardiness, mariner! Just man’s foolhardiness. ―Leonidas of Tarentum, translation by Michael R. Burch Blame not the gale, nor the inhospitable sea-gulf, nor friends’ tardiness, mariner! Just man’s foolhardiness. ―Leonidas of Tarentum, translation by Michael R. Burch Here he lies in state tonight: great is his Monument! Yet Ares cares not, neither does War relent. ―Anacreon, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch Wall, I'm astonished that you haven't collapsed, since you're holding up verses so prolapsed! ―Ancient Roman graffiti, translation by Michael R. Burch This world of dew is a dewdrop world indeed; and yet, and yet ... ―Kobayashi Issa, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch The childless woman, how tenderly she caresses homeless dolls ... ―Hattori Ransetsu, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch When no wind ruffles the Kiri tree leaves fall of their own free will. ―Nozawa Boncho, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch The herons stand, sentry-like, at attention ... rigid observers of some unknown command. ―Michael R. Burch © 2023 Michael R. Burch |
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