Note:

young love maybe.....

When I fall in love...

All the heartbreak.

seems to follow...

As I travel down the road...

with the sun.

I sell most of my possesions...

Just to get close to you.

But even now...

In the END...

You'll never notice me.

Reviews

[Sarai Akscyn]

Forgive my parsing of a heart felt poem. I'd trim any buffers. The feel is strong without extra articles. Ex: " I sell [most of] my possessions... " "You ['ll] never notice me."

Its a soft and subtle poem. Then cuts hard and fast to " In the END" ... which is baffling to me. I see no suggestion before this of what the end might be. Perhaps an insertion of a curious note to affect the meaning. I do, however, adore the simplicity of this poetry. It seems a departure of what I remember as a more intense style and I like it alot.

[Lia]

I really liked this piece, was deep and made me realise what people do for love x

[Sarai Akscyn]

I'm unable to ascertain the relationship of these characters. I've deduced - perhaps incorrectly - that they are strangers or aquaintances at best by the final line: "You'll never notice me." Thus, my confusion over 'the end' ... as I'm not getting there was a relationship to end. Is this poetry about suicide I'm wondering? Or am I being overly theatrical?

[Sarah McKeever Hitt]

Heartbreaking and beautiful