Promised Dream

When dreams shatter... "Inspired by the song Illusion by VNV Nation "

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Storms filling in the sky...

Living is like hell.

There is no love...

Playing in this game.

Promised dreams...

Shattered.

Living in your hate...

Shouldn't be so real.

There are no rainbows in my sky.

As the rain begins to pour.

In this illusion...

That seems so real.

Dying for myself...

Has no feeling.

My sun cleared eyes...

With their rays of hope.

Having some role to play...

Never forgeting you.

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

"Living in your hate...
Shouldn't be so real."

These lines stick pretty well, not that all of them don't echo the sentiments of over half the world, but I think those two lines are the most poignant, its one thing for love to fade away, its another for it to transform to something as destructive as hate. Nice write, its a well observed a park bench daily for lunch sort of write.

[Sasavet]

The darker side of dreams, the horror of when they don't come true. That's what I see in this and it really does show the sadder side of wishing quite well.

[Michael X]

This is nicely written, tormented love, I am sure most people can relate to your poem presented with
an ascending toward descention color, the way golden sunlight loses its shine through perception
when glaring in the eyes of the wanting and the broken hearted, i really enjoyed the way you chose
to incorporate the graphics with your word, it really presents the idea with a visual touch, it works

well, promised dreams, and if a dream fails in promise-sometimes dreams are all the one has to hold on
to where does the heart turn from that point on, I felt this poem to be strong in beginning-middle
and opening, passionate form conforms to thoughts. work that draw the reader to delving ponder

Storms filling in the sky...
Living is like hell.
There is no love...
Playing in this game.
Promised dreams

[Brianna Brie]

Sad piece of writing. You manage to bring us into an atmosphere of pondering the whole relationship with you. The thoughts surrounded by environment are superbly done. Thanks for entering it into the Tell Me a Secret contest. Brie

[Gunny]

I liked it. I have to admit that after 2-3 times reading it I don't understand it, but the writing was beautiful. The words you chose were great and I may understand it to my understanding, at some level. I would honoured if I could read a review sometime.

[Kimmee Jean]

Pretty pictures!
but good work on it too!

Risa Jean

[*^*my*beautiful*zelda*l..]

Cool, I like the pictures you put in, they add to the mood of the poem quite well.
Ahh, love... I dont understand how something so nice could turn to something so horrible. This reminds me of the relationship two of my friends have for each other: they used to be dating, but now they hate each other so much that they cant even stand to pass each other a glance. I love how this peice gets me thinking, nice work!

[justjenn_2u]

How bittersweet! The music is a perfect fit. You know she could be what you want. So sad that she can't grasp it. It's within reach, but will it be too late?

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

That was really beautiful and incredibly deep! ^^ I really admire how the tone makes the narrator sound so - for lack of a better term- "urgent". lol Excellent job!

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Sad, beautiful piece. Music definetly brings out the piece all the more. Great Write.

Rayne