Lingering Sadness

Series of Sadness 2

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The movements of two people.

Being in love,

but never giving their love.

Conflicts of opinion,

and personal ideals.

Keeping each other away from another.

Unable to have their compromise,

or let their guard down.

That is why they will never fall in love.

Both having the biggest hearts in the world.

But will never let anyone near it.

These are just a few pains,

the heart seem to endure throughout a lifetime.

Reviews

[Nicole Pilar]

This poem is beautiful, but I question some of your diction choices. On some of the lines, imperticular
"Both having the biggest hearts in the world." and "These are just a few pains," the sticato, point words used, seem a crude...comparison when shown against "the heart seems to endure throughout a lifetime." thus distracting the reader from the exact scene and feelings you are trying to get across; unless of course that was your point so that the exact set up would not seem so staged and more realistic, and you felt that the useage of flowery language would build up the very real feelings to a...cinnematic light.

[aponijose]

I know right. We sometimes forget what really matter in life. We end up focusing on things like who said hello first or how many times the other person must call before you pick up the phone - trivial stuff to ensure the slightest amount of pain. It's just sad.

What I like about this piece is the staccato-ishness of it. The clipped little details that form one picture; one sentence of truth. It came across as an assembly of philosophies which is basically good when you're trying to get through people.

[Str8jacket]

I love this poem so much. I think it can relate to so many people. You have more talent than you think.

[Kayla]

this is so sad, because there is so much truth to it. very nice job micheal.

[Raiden Queen of Darknes..]

Micheal, I love your poem, it is so beautiful but yet so sad and you have an incredible way of expressing what is in your heart. I love the song you have playing for this poem