Fingers (Part 1)

Fingers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1.

 

 

The grass and weeds bit and bristled against her bare arms and legs. She opened her eyes toward the pine trees and sky above, her back pressed to the earth. Lips closed tight, frowning; she squinted and tried to recollect where she was. The trees stood tall and majestic, branches full of orange pines swaying by the cool breeze. Beyond that, large white clouds formed and dispersed over and over.

 

Gently pushing herself up, elbows digging into the dirt, she noticed her sunhat was missing. She rolled to her right and rested on her stomach, finding the hat upside down on the grass. The girl picked up the hat, brushed aside a few leaves that had landed on top.

 

She pulled the hat down on her head.

 

Standing up, she realized she had fallen asleep while collecting all the rocks she found. Some of them had ants underneath and other bugs. Most of the rocks were small, but found a few the size of her hand. She scarcely needed to glance both ways as she ran across the dirt road; no one ever sped through the trailer park. Raining leaves flowed around her, the occasional twig snapped and fell to the ground. It smelled like pollen and smoke, trash being burned in the back yard of a trailer to her right. Men worked on their trucks, mowed what little property was theirs or sat listening to their radio.

 

One man, one she knew, he sat in his chair on the front porch of his trailer. He sucked on his cigarette deeply, the smoke filling his lungs as he watched the girl. He wore shades to protect his eyes from the glaring sun. He smiled. A genuine smile.

 

She looked at him as she ran by his yard. And … only for a moment, her attention was stolen. His tank-top shirt was caked and stained with oil and mud. He was constantly occupied by feeding the many cats that strayed around his house. His hand, palm down on his knee, fingers outstretched-

 

…Fingers moving and covering…

 

The thought of rocks immediately avalanched into her mind again. She ran even faster to the lake.

 

 

***

 

 

The lake was huge, at least as big as all of South Carolina. She knew it had to be, ‘cause out of all the lakes she had ever visited, a total of maybe three … theirs was the largest.

 

The sun was setting, everything covered in an orange glow and quieting down. Birds flew to their nests in the trees. The ducks in the pond followed one another in a straight line, heading home. It wasn’t time for her to go home yet though. She was still looking for the best rock, looking for a really smooth special stone, maybe a diamond, like people found in the movies.

 

Getting on her knees, she crawled to the swampy edge of the lake. Long pieces of grass stood taller than she was in the murky green muck. Smiling, she reached a hand down into the goo. Swishing her hand back and forth, she leaned down even deeper, searching on the bottom. Nothing yet… she had to find that one…

 

She pulled her body down all the way, her stomach flat against the grass, her dress getting all dirty and green. The girl turned her head to the side, almost bringing her shoulder into the swamp-

 

Then slowly, with sudden hesitation, her arm became still.

 

She wasn’t looking at the lake anymore, or how the sun was setting. The girl could only keep her attention on what was ahead of her, half in the swamp half on the grass.

 

She pulled her arm out, green algae dripping down her arm and splashing against her dress. She kept her face in a frown as she stood to her full height and walked forward, closer to the object in view. She had never seen a dead cat before. She had never seen anything dead before.

 

Its body looked so… stiff. Its hair was sporadic, unclean with patches of red blood and green grime littering across its body. While the eyes were closed, the cat’s mouth was opened wide, sharp teeth showing as though it had been crying … why had it been crying?

 

The girl blinked.

 

It had been in pain.

 

She took a step closer to it.

 

And she thought it was probably still being hurt. Cause it was being eaten.

 

Worms. Lots of worms and bugs.

 

They were stretching and crawling all around the body, slimy and slick long worms eating away… digging inside it. Flies were crawling around in its mouth… its eyes… on its tail… they kept chewing-

 

Btzzz. Btzzz…

 

Her breathing became rapid.

 

A constant buzzing, low but noticeable hummed from within the cat. The worms dug in more, nothing else on their minds. Eat. Eat.

 

Short breaths, she felt a little dizzy.

 

Fingers.

 

They’re just like worms.

 

“Morgan!”

 

Snapping out of her gaze, she turned toward to the sound of her mom’s voice. She was home now. Morgan had almost forgotten about her mom. But now, she wanted to see her more than anything else in her life. She moved away from the cat and toward her mom’s voice, averting her eyes from the cat to her feet. A tickling sensation on her feet made her stop. Looking down, her eyes widened and she started to cry out loud. She started to shout like a child, like the ten year old Morgan was.

 

She found small biting fleas all over her legs.

 

Flies were buzzing in her hair and near her ears.

 

But the worst… the worst was…

 

“Morgan!”

 

She didn’t know how long she stood there crying, but the next thing Morgan remembered was strong arms grabbing hold of her, lifting her up and pulling and pressing her to a warm body. It was her mom.

 

“Oh goodness…” she murmured. She had uncombed hair, short and brown and looked tired. It was the most comforting and normal look she usually gave. With a smile, she started to ask what was wrong, and that she was here. She felt her mother’s hands move up and down her bare legs quickly, smacking and pushing off the crawling insects that had found her. Morgan kept pushing her face into her mom’s shoulder. ‘It’s alright… it’s alright…’ she soothed over and over.

 

Her mom began to walk back to their trailer, Morgan in her arms. She started to notice the sunset again, the breeze blowing into her face with fresh air. Her breathing started to slow down and calm once more.

 

She never wanted to see another dead cat again. She never wanted to see another cat again. So she tried to forget about it. And she was doing the best she could to do so. Even as they pulled away from the lake, back through the trailer park, across the dirt road and home came into view. She didn’t think about anything that scared her.

 

Right before they made it safely inside her home, they had to pass their neighbor. And Don sat on his porch, in a lawn chair with that cigarette in his mouth. A few of his cats sat beside him, unconcerned with the shouting they had probably heard. He was frowning behind his shades, but he gave a small wave to Morgan as she was carried by.

 

It reminded her of worms. And it reminded her of what made her cry. She had looked down and saw among the bugs: a worm on her foot. It had been crawling up her leg … reaching up. Reaching up for her.

 

The man reminded her of worms.

 

Closing her eyes, she found that was all she could think about. No sun, no lake, no cats, no bugs, no mom, no Don, no trailers, no home, no air and no rocks.

 

Just fingers and worms.

 

 

Author's Note

Much darker than my usual writing, but a story I wrote after an experience that happened to girl I knew.

Reviews

[Sesame]

Hi Marcel,

There is something about dead cats that intrigues me (see my story 'Schizo'), it might have something to do with my profile picture. ;) Anyway I like the darkness of this chapter a lot. Something is boiling in this story, it is hard to tell what it is, but I will surely read your next chapter to find out. In general I think you can still improve your writing. There are quite some sentenced that are repeated in other words within a short space of time. It makes me think: "yes, I know this already". Or when the words you use have a slight difference in meaning, it makes me doubt: for example 'crying out' and 'shouting'. I will not post all the repetitions below, but I would advise you to reread your chapter and try to find all the doubles in there and make a decision on whether you really want to keep both of them. Nexxt tot that here are some suggestions:

Lips frowned? Aren't it usually eyes/brows that frown?

"She opened her eyes toward the pine trees above.." and "gazed at the sky and trees." are a bit double and therefor less powerful.

Picking it up, the girl patted the hat off, any leaves having landed on top of it brushing aside at her touch. -> "The girl picked up the hat, brushed aside a few leaves that had landed on top."

She looked over at him as she passed his yard in a run. -> "She looked at him as she ran by his yard"

His cats, so many that strayed around his house that he fed constantly. -> this sentence seems to miss something, what is the subject here? The cats or the man? Or you need to rewrite it, a suggestion: -> "He was constantly occupied by feeding the many cats that strayed around his house."

She ran faster to the lake. - "...even faster..."

theirs was the biggest. - "this one was the largest."

hand down into the goop. -? what is 'goop', I think you mean "goo"

been crying out… why had it been crying out? - lose the 'out'

Morgan in arms. -> "Morgan in her arms." without 'her' it has a totally different meaning, namely: that Morgan was carrying medieval weaponry, which I doubt is the case here.

Hope this helps! Eager to read the next chapter. Love the darkness and looming danger.

Regards, Sesame.

@followsesame on Twitter
www.themagiccave.com

[Marcel Grant]

Thank you so much! You are like, the best review and editor for me here lol

I'll keep those points in mind, and I'm fixing those mistakes right now! =D

[Marcel Grant]

Oh and please do read the next couple, I'm sure you'll like it ;D