Surfing With Savitar

I feel it, the pool from the ocean, the undeniable call that I must heed. Sitting up letting my world shift back into focus I flash out onto my beach. And that's when I see it, what pulled me out of my slumber, 15 foot sets rolling in every few minutes.

With the rush of what I'm looking at still roaring through my system I flash my suit and board to me and run into the water. Paddling out was exhilarating, the feeling of the waves rushing over me only causes me to paddle faster.

Dropping in on my first set, leaning to the right I start off by riding the lip of the wave before dropping in again. Sliding down the face of the wave I can see the wave start to roll over forming the perfect tube.

Moving back up the wave as the water crests around me so all I can see is the beach through the tube of water. Reaching down I grab the board with my left hand so I can lean my head into the wall of water. There is no better feeling than being shot out of the tube, whitecaps exploding all around you, like a bullet from a gun.

Making my way onto the beach, looking back towards the water and those marvelous waves I think Xi should be out here with me. Flashing my phone to me I call Xirena and ask if she wants to come surfing with me.
The corners of my mouth scrunch in at Xirena’s sudden appearance, but seeing the grin on her face made cause me to shake my head and flash my phone away. “It’s nice to know that my call will get you to flash right over.” I say to Xirena. Looking out at the waves that keep rolling in I ask Xirena “you ready to show me those surfing skills?” As jumps up and down in excitement we make our way into the water.
As we’re paddling out Xirena spots her first set. I watch as she increases her stroke and drops into her first set. All I can do is sit back and watch Xirena slices up the wave. She’s was magnificent, they way she would cut back into the wave to launch herself into the air then drop back in again. Watching as she finishes her set I spot my wave coming in. Dropping in I slide down the face of the wave then cut back sharply into it trying to gain as much speed as possible. As I reach the top of the wave I grab my board and kick out into a perfect horizontal 360. Landing back on the wave I continue cut up the wave till I’m almost back to shore.
Walking up to Xirena I say “Damn woman you can surf, you can come surf here any time you want.” As we stood and watch the waves for a moment I turned to Xirena and asked if Simi was free? “She always loves to surf with me.” I said as we continued to watch the waves again. Watching Simi tear up the waves brought a eye touching smile to my face. Damn, that girl still impressed me with her skills on the water. Flashing back out to drop into my next set I can only think "damn, this is going to be a great day." As I finish off my next set I can see the girls lying on the beach, instead of joining them I flash back out and wait on my next set. Dropping in for my third set I feel the power from this wave, this one would give me the speed to pull of my next trick. Sliding down the face of the wave gaining as much speed as I can get I turn back right and head for the lip.
As soon as the nose of the board breaks the top of the wave I grab the board and start to spin. I explode out of the water spinning like a figure skater on ice launching into a perfect 1440. Landing back in the water was a bit of a jolt, but like the true surfer god I think myself to be, I rise back up and finish out my set.
Strolling back up the beach I feel my stomach rumbling I remember the only thing I done today is surf. Walking back up to the girls I flash some snacks for us to munch on while we take a break from the waves. Not being one to forget I have a buffet line of Honey BBQ wings just for the girls.

Reviews

[Danielle]

I love the visual acuity of this piece. I get a sense of the atmosphere and emotions playing underneath the words which helps to draw me in and keep me interested. If I could offer any help for an edit, if you ever wished to of course, I would focus mostly on the clipped nature of the speech sections and the paragraphing. You can loosen up the paragraphs a bit by separating the speech parts from general narrative and keep in a consistent tense with the verbs. I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds in this review. As always, keep writing and posting! I love the direction you're taking with this!