Nostalgia.

    Sometimes I think it best to return to a better time, a sentimental yearning evoking memories of former happiness. I don't often believe in angels yet at times I have threaded patterns of faith in fallen drops of tears left unanswered. Eternally I prayed for the failure of a thousand miracles for just the moment of one simple gesture of kindness from gods who have shown mercy upon the forsaken. What is known has passed with the time it took for the little piece of light to find its way through the creases of the curtains, a small measure of desperation could not contain the flicker of life from spreading away within the darkness.
    Frustration blossoms like a blasphemous thought reaching the peak of a height that remains trapped in uncertainty. The amount of strength it took to smile as you slipped away into the grasp of morphine with drops of keys showering notes echoing in the halls, I find it hard to breathe. As lungs betray the air with promises of relief, I watched as a rose grew from pain surrounded by a puddle of blood with the pressure of time, your heart never stood a chance. Trying to learn the words to say, I would rather take my time and trade the sands with yours for the assurance of a life well deserved, a promise I have failed to keep.
    Time stops for a short amount of seconds in remembrance to the beauty of her life, suddenly I imagine the bravery in the world where the lack of images grant weary ripples in untamed waters floating to the surface, with lack of gravity the air is thinning. She only asked I remember her, not as the present appears but as the mountains slowly growing through time with the least of concerns, just love. I let this thought capture the least amount of sanity I had to muster, the words mumbled to her family letting her mother know her daughters life has become no more.
    I try to face my best impression of happiness days later as I hug my fondest memory of her, the facts are, this faceless bottle is all I have to rely on and this motionless clock is all I know that keeps you close to me. Her warmth is all I have grown to know, as an infant realizes the struggle it takes to maintain a breath, I believe this world has forgotten the corners of my heart. As chance would have it I feel as the only child in a room of infants who fell short of a beat and the courage it took for all of the soldiers to defeat the enemy of death ready to strive and fight to survive, I gave in to the late hours of the night and have fallen.
    Now I have received the emptiness of where you rest in the ground as a companion of unusual circumstances I stand the most to lose, yet I could care less. In search of where I once called home as an orphan with no beginning I humbly ask for the embrace of your own. Sunsets prosper upon heads bowed with you along with the breeze of a thousand fears let us sing in the face of death, I remember. I remember holding my breath. Wishing for once in my life I could stop this heart and soon goodbyes will never be said, soon this dreary sky will resolve the conflict of cancers disease spread amongst the clouds ripping away the essence of your memory.
    I remember. I remember the first time we shared a kiss beneath the stars with your warmth pressed against mine, we were laying upon a blanket of pages unwritten, It was growing late and time had enough of us yet you said, "stay with me." Words that will forever remain, I remember. The smile I forced to assure you that I will be fine, I gave you my word that one day I will never give up on love, a lie. I realized as I rushed passed a red light four blocks from the hospital at two thirty seven in the morning I finally broke, when I understood I was out of time. The anxiety of the waiting room so patient as bad news spread across the emotions of faces who mourned her embrace, I felt her grasp lighten as she finally let go.
    Tears could not help but tumble, I felt so helpless. "Stay with me, please I don't know how to live without you. It doesn't end like this, don't give up. I love you." At the time we just sat there, as she cried most of the night with screams of pain I was restless. "Stay with me." She smiled for a moment and extended her hand granting a warmth I had almost forgotten, we were both back to being twelve holding hands talking until the countless hours in the morning, I had never felt such sorrow. With tearful eyes following rivers into oceans we shared one short rest, that was the night I felt her grasp lighten.
    "Stay with me."