Some women

8th March is International Womens Day, and after a sarcastic comment to my girlfriend about there not being a day specifically for men I tossed off a little ditty.

Some women look like porn stars;

some women look like sex;

some women look like drag-queens,

their fundamentals wrecked.

 

But you, my love, are precious,

above them all in time;

and I, my love,

am vicious, rambling incoherent rhyme.

 

Some women, they choose tyrants,

some women, they choose kings,

some women choose to burn in fire

chasing shiny things.

 

Some women live for pleasure;

some women live to please;

some women are a treasure;

some women, a disease.

 

But you, my sweet , are precious,

above them all in time,

and I think I felt the breath of God

when my heart knew you were mine.

 

Some women could kill for riches,

and tumble far from grace;

you can tell some are b*****s

just by looking at thier face.

 

But you, my dear, are precious,

above them all in time,

and my memory sweetly etches

our perfection like a crime.

 

Author's Note

rough, typed as written without change.

Reviews

[Gray]

Well, you should have read this over a candle light dinner,...or breakfast. It has a nice entertaining quality to it. Reads well. Your girlfriend must have loved it.

...Gray

[Polly Taylor]

I often find that if you really want to convey the emotion of 'the moment' then poems should be left raw, and I think it benefits you here.

I like the way you catagorise women here...and I dont mean that from a sarcastic feminsistic point of view! I think it was a rather concise description of how many women portray themselves.

Your Noor, is a lucky lady. and your observance of women in general is intruguing ;)

[Mariah]

this is really sweet. :)
i love it. !
i'm proud to say i'm a woman who cares nothing for riches, or money.
it doesn't bring happiness. !
added to my favorites.
beautiful my darling. :)

[Leah T]

i always really enjoy your poems and this is no exception. very sweet and true. one question: is the word "women" meant to be repeated in the first line of the fourth stanza?

[zurichtouch]

I wanted to drop a long and spiritual comment, but in fact I'm speachless. Better this way .

[♥ Courtney &hear..]

I love it. I think its cool how you talk about the bad things in women only to bring out the great things in the girl you love so much. :-D You've done a great job here and I cant wait to read more of your work.

[Michael]

I like it, hang on to her man cuz it's rare out there and that can go both ways of course, there's good women/bad women and good men/bad men...not to sound sexist, good love is just hard to find.

[justjenn_2u]

I agree with this poem. I am thankful that there are all types of men as well. If there weren't all types of men, I wouldn't know how to spot a good one if I could. Your poem flows and has a very good closure. Good write!

[J.P.O.et]

This is just nice and fun for you,
I am more accustomed to your deep stuff
'and I think I felt the breath of God, when my heart knew you were mine'
That is excellent, always fun to just throw a 'ditty' together as you say
If it was only that easy all the time, eh
J.P.O.et