We Surrender Honestly to This

this is a love poem, ordinary as such special things are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How your lotus eyes summons

The goodness in me, an honesty like

Your cheeks, begging my blood’s

Sudden flowering, I picture your eyes

Like the light of the world

 

Your summary skin, are like the petals

Where I once laid my racing youth

Your golden face, some miracled heritage

Tangled in your full and towering hair

 

I want my touch to last forever

I want to hear your voice as if,

To collect the words from your mouth

With my ears and my soul, to know your truth

 

As completely as anyone ever could

And find your heart in time, sprinkled in flour

And visit your dreams, like some daily bread ritual

I want to be with you, during our nightly travels

 

Find the purer motion, of your silken singular key

The kind of endless life and joy

Only you could provide me, that moist

Tender swan underwater feeling!

 

All travels and sorrows have to end

In encircled fire, like a good marriage or

A future land, some prosperity woven

Into the fabric of our future well-being

 

Pain and work shall all, but sleep now

Let the world propagate its own darkness

Instead we summon the light between us

For we both bow to the pulse, of a higher power.

 

15.11.2011

Author's Note

I'm sorry if I forget if I'm an "I" or a "We" just sometimes in our love stories, we lost a bit of our identities.

Reviews

[.........]

This poem is just absolutely divine. Your writing is beautiful and your descriptions are perfect. I see romance, I see admiration, I see majestic emotion, I see strength, I see courage, but mostly I see emotion and emotion by itself. It's hardly what they call raw, because you back it all up with an amazing fulfillment of poetry. Wow, you are a wonderful writer, and I can't find anything in this poem that I would change.

[Seshat Nidaba]

Wow this was before comments were possible! Sweet review Meg.

[Praiser]

Passionate kisses to dress in petals with romantic Love

LEKKER indeed... this is just bliss. Wonderful write.

[Journey]

I like how you started this off with the image of the lotus flower and the purity it signifies. Your words were crisp and wrapped in the feel of love.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

This is such a sweet poem with a sweet picture!

[Dove]

wooahh this is very amazing!! Its very creative. You seriously did a great job on this.

[EMMIE]

THIS IS AMAZING, THE WORDING, THE CREATIVITY, THE DESCRIPTIONS, THE IMAGERY, THE CONCEPT, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS POEM IS JUST AMAZING. MAKES ME SMILE =)

[Bridget Murphy]

when in love, two people become one! This was a very good poem! I absolutely enjoyed it!!!!:)

One thing I've recognized throughout your works is the most recurring feature of you just being dam good at metaphors... it's purely exceptional I must say ^_^
I like how the poem confronts/tackles the surroundings/environment while expanding on the kindling romance... specifically at the last stanza. It gives a sense of specialty and uniqueness to the relationship that's formed. Also, great word choice and choice descriptions related to the subjects of your metaphors, I find them rather most appealing to the mind.
possibly the only constructive critique I can give is that the way some of the lines are structured kinda irk me a bit, specifically the ones with commas... It's right to admit that poetry does not fold to the standard formation of sentence structure or other things required in writing, but specifically line 2 kinda troubles me a bit, it's almost like a forced rhyme for line 4 in stanza 1...
Overall, 96/100 I say... It's definitely a wonderful job. I truely enjoyed it.

[idk]

I love it. Great jo

[Larry Dyson]

Your summary skin, (are/is) like the petals ...nice write.