Hardly the Stuff of Legend

Once you have experienced the world, then what?

Time is an autocratic recruit for forward march

Though in these stages, a comedy of old perpetuates itself

Time is divvied up in parcels of joy & bunches of woe

And lessons are lost along corridors of memory

 

Faces seem dim, as medieval teenage dreams

An extravaganza of hope, bread crumbs 

Of what once was, an opera-comique of past values

Now discarded, old beliefs slipped out from the flood-lights

 

Did age make us more accepting or simply more docile?

The journey of back-pedalling water-treading future reach

The days bandaged amidst, lanterns & leaves

We fidget and warble our way though

 

A mystery of our own movements, a spectator of the game

Time is not to be taken seriously, such high ceilings and

Modern lounges, extending life-spans

We’ve lived enough historic evenings to feel complete

 

Inhaled the fragrance of chromatic stains at sunsets

Kissed our lovers black and blue, in bourgeois magic of afternoons

Time always used to joke with us in unexpected farewells

Until it was no longer possible to endure this “intimate atmosphere”

Reviews

[Deviant Works]

Wwoowww! I had to take a breath after reading this... At the second stanza I felt like a teenager lost in far-fetched dreams, questioning if I am still that way. Then what you had asked in the third stanza had me pondering if I have actually changed and if I have perhaps it has been for the worst. I am just amazed, there were moments where I forgot to simply breathe because of your splendid vocabulary and ability to combine certain words for mind-blowing imagery. Times where I was shaking my head, riveted by the sheer talent. Just wow!

[Awkward]

"Once you have experienced the world, then what?"
Great question you pose here!
Also great poem! I'm in awe because of your broad range in words!

[Sukriti Suki]

wonderful thought and expressed very well.. This has a very fine piece, penned beautifully.

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

"Did age make us more accepting or simply more docile?". This is an excellent line in an equally excellent poem.

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

I will say, "I knew him when". Dude, this is some pristine writing here!
'Kissed our lovers black and blue', an absolutely Brilliant line among many.
What a pleasure to read this.

Thank you!

[Julie Deshtor]

THIS is well done! Flashes of images, of emotions, of notions and ideals, slashed propaganda - and sharp, to the point and to the gut.
Well done!

My only comment - the first verse seems weaker, less powerful than the rest of the piece. Perhaps you may want to consider cutting it, or re-wording it in the same crisp voice as the rest of the poem?
Just an idea....:)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

rich language banquet delivers every nuance of each spice within your delectable array of words~

[?]

oh why must you make this blonde one think? lol
This is wonderfully penned.
A very thought provoking piece

[Peony]

Mindful and cryptically intense. Nice piece. Great write!