Sunset in Brazil

it's a relief to know the days are long, it's as if the light stretches her skin for our happiness.

On the patio tonight, the Sun is leaving the sky

The moon’s bright circle will climb

The arteries of the channelled constellations

Zig-zag splendour of stars, unseen by the naked eyes

On the patio tonight, the people are out

As if it were Summer, but it is only Spring

The sky if flowing into the house

Time is moving slow, it’s evening dearies

An eclipse of labours done, children home

On the patio tonight, this is why we got married then

Why we bought a house with some land of course

At the entrance way to eternity, serene and stern

On the patio tonight, until the stars tell us

The show is over, until the colors milk our eyes.

Reviews

[Karina Longo]

For some reason, I found your poem now and read it. And I am very happy to have done it - it has an intensity that truly touches me.
P.S: I confess the title got me specially curious, as a Brazilian myself!

[Dinesh Sairam]

The sky IS flowing into the house- Obvious typo. No biggie. I do feel that "On the patio" is repeated just a bit above normal. The refrain at

On the patio tonight, this is why we got married then
Why we bought a house with some land of course
At the entrance way to eternity

seems perfectly suitable. Maybe consider removing the ones in between.

On the subject, I'm afraid I never stay too long to savor "moments". See something grand, and next thing you know, I'm thinking in metaphors. It's personally disturbing and creepy. I can't do anything about it though. Just keep on pushing the curse long enough, and hope for it to turn into a blessing.

Oh, and this style of writing is much appealing than, pardon me, your other surreal pieces. Almost surreal is good. Surreal is, well, not-so-good.

Keep writing.

[Nimbus Thread]

I enjoyed how this piece joins sky and relationships into one eternal intention. Wonderful imagery!

[Christie Moses]

Stunning descriptions with such flowing movement. I felt as if I was right there seeing life through your eyes.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Beautiful!