Comes the Season...

Comes a rustling through the boughs,

     as a whisper in the timber,

but its whimpers won’t arouse

     yet an ember of September;

          for spring is past, gone surrender,

          with the essence of its splendor;

          summer’s sear a silent cinder,

          fallen autumn dared engender;

     lost November, to December,

and the love fate disavows;

     now the cold I long remember

quells the spark time disallows.

Reviews

[Anniebugg]

An interesting way to relate the passing of time. You make it sound romantic. I have to admit that I am a little confused over the last 3 lines, especially 'and the love fate disavows'. As Tina said, 'What's love got to do with it?' I'm going to have to think hard on this, unless you'd like to try to explain it to me. I did enjoy reading it and your rhymes must have had you staring at the words on the screen until they became a blur. Wonderful structure and flow. Your poems are very easy to read. Great write, Mic.

[Mic]

Ah, you didn't discount that as filler. You're quite perceptive. I'll save you some time, as I fear this one is too poorly written to be deciphered. While it is a write of the passing of the seasons, or time as a whole, and the dread those cold, dark times beckon, it's also the story of a man who's lost at love and tries to deny himself even that memory of. Though there's a spark of lament now and then, time tempers all things. You'd probably never find that hidden among these ill-crafted lines, but was the intent.

As for the rhymes, honestly have little trouble with those... it's the words used to bump them along that I battle. Don't spend much time wrestling them before the entire line (or two or six) is axed and replaced.

Thank you so much for the wonderful comment as well as your time to read!

[MOON]

Beautiful flow , love how the lines and thoughts blend into each other. Musical, time passing and love lost.

[DrD]

A terse work with interesting form. The word selection is quite good and the innuendo of a relationship between the passing months and a "disavowed love" brings a tone of eloquence to the work. A very nice piece of writing.

[Mic]

Thank you DrD, am always honored with your visit to my page.

[Steven]

The shape is like a sail of a ship, blowing the lines slightly away. It enhances the seasonal feeling of the poem. Lovely wording.

[Mic]

Thank you Steven, for the kind words as well as the reading.

[Muse]

What a fun poem to read. Charming really. The words dance live a river of joy. Traveling from one brooke to the next...much like the seasons...it all flows together in a very wonderful and natural way.

[Mic]

As always, you've read it perfectly. Thank you for the charming comment, Muse, and especially for your time.

[Muse]

wow I wrote this half asleep..I can't spell..let me rephrase that.
The words dance LIKE a river of joy.
Traveling from one BROOK to the next.
Sorry..I didn't want you to think I was an idiot.

[Mic]

If typos are any indication of intelligence, fear I'm a blithering idiot, dear Muse. You're much smarter than I and far more gifted. Know this, my friend.

[Muse]

ha ha ha...thank you...perhaps It's my OCD kicking in.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

you have an exceptional way with words and the structure is just awesome, nice to meet you, kind regards.

[Mic]

Nice meeting you as well, SHEEMA, and thank you for reading as well as commenting.

[Mark]

Winter clears the way for the renewal of Spring. Great poem :)

[Mic]

Thank you Mark. I so enjoyed your poem 'Seasons of Love', and hope everyone that passes this way takes a look at it.

Thanks again for reading as well as commenting.

[Tate Morgan]

that was really refreshing and beautiful

[Mic]

Thank you Tate. It played as a rather melancholy melody in my head, but seemed fitting for the subject.

Thank you very much for your time spent reading and commenting.

[Tate Morgan]

you are most welcome

[Marie]

I love rhyming verse, and this is done very well. The season's warmth winds down...and the spark is gone...

[Mic]

I love it as well, and you're quite good at it Marie. Am still working on that long one... and a few more.

Thank you for reading as well as commenting.