The Beginning of the downfall

First chapter in my book

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                      The Beginning of the downfall

“ Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”

        -Seneca Roman Philosopher

17 years later…….

Waiting in the throne room for his father was getting tiresome John thought. He had been standing there for some time with his brother Devin. Devin had mentioned that they should walk away and go back to there own lives, but both knew that their father’s mind had been declining for some time and to leave without out his permission would be dangerous. So they waited. Not too long after John heard footsteps coming from the north hallway.

Entering through the side door came their father and following at his heels like a lost dog was Cassandra.

“Shouldn’t she be on a leash if that were true brother?” Devin whispered to his brother. Fully knowing what he had thought. John held back his bemused smile and whispered back. “Maybe it’s just under her dress.” Both brothers were well aware that she could hear them. Everyone in that room could hear what they were saying on account that no one in that room was exactly human.

“SILENCE!” their father shouted while placing himself upon the throne. The king’s voice carried malice and even though it was not toward her Cassandra jumped slightly at the tone.

“As you all well know changes have happened over the past 17 years. Changes that have formed within you three.”

All three knew what the changes were. Just by looking at the king you could tell. The king didn’t look a day over 29. He had not aged for 1,000 years and soon his sons would be the same. They carried his and their mothers genes. Both looking like their parents. Cassandra looking like her mother the duchess.

“Yes father we are well aware of theses changes.” Devin spoke first with a calmness only achieved with years of practice.

“Well then I think you know it is high time you start to learn.” the king exclaimed.

“Learn what my lord?” Cassandra asked with genuine confusion. John was equally confused by this and was dreading what his father would say.

“It is time for you to learn how to handle this Kingdom. So you three are to be sent to the village where you three will spend 6 months there. You are to learn their way of life and be there to show that we still care.”

“But milord that is not fair. Why do we have to be sent to live with commoners. Humans no less. Its not……”

“SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!” the king screamed. “IT IS DONE. Now that it is settled you will leave now and when you reach the village you will be appointed a guide. Who will show you how to live. Now go.”

With that the trio were escorted on to horses and sent to the west village. Unknown that the king had his on agenda behind the sudden trip.

“Why do we have to do this. It’s so pointless.” Cassandra had stated for the 5^th time.

“ Ohh would you shut it with your persistent whining.”

Devin shouted at her. The nagging had gone on since they had left. Traveling through a dense forest hadn’t been Cassandra’s way of life.

“Well then will you at least tell me how long it is till we are there?” Cassandra mumbled under her breath.

John answered “I think only 1 more hour”

Before Cassandra could speak again a wolf the size of a full grown horse leapt out from behind a tree. It had jet black fur and bright florescent yellow eyes. It growled a low menacing tone. Both brothers jumped from their horses and advanced toward the wolf. Before they could do anything, a tall person dressed in all black hunting gear jumped in front of them.

“Touch the wolf and your dead.” the voice wasn’t distinguishable to tell if it was a man or woman. A black helmet was placed on the so that was no help. The brothers stared at the person then to each other.

“Who are you?” John stated to the person.

“I am none of your concern. To where are you heading and with such attire of clothing?”

“We are heading to the village any such questions that you wish to ask will not be answered.” Devin exclaimed.

“ Fine if you wish to head to the village then I will lead you. I am heading there my self.”

“On what business are you heading there for. If I may ask?”

“ To bring back food for the villagers. What is your business.”

“Our business is our own.” Cassandra spoke with an icy tone.

“Very well, Bangar come.” the person stated then turned and walked down the dirt road.

“Well where is this dinner for the villagers?” John questioned. Just before he received his answer a buck fell from a tree and landed on the wolf’s back. The beast didn’t even flinch.

“How did that thing get up there?” Devin asked.

“I placed it up there before you so rudely interrupted my hunting.”

“We ruined your hunting? You and your mangy beast almost attacked us!” Devin was fuming.

“MANGY BEAST! How dare you. He is no such thing. Bangar is a majestic animal who freely roams these lands, but happens to like following me instead.”

As if agreeing with this mysterious person the wolf nodded its head.

“Whatever just take us to the village and be on your way.”

John replied hoping to end the dispute.

“Gladly.” the hunter stated.

Not long after they arrived to the village. John looked around the village absorbing the quality. It was placed securely within the woos. Log cabins and huts scattered the land. Smoke rising from different chimneys. Children ran from house to house laughing along the way. Roasted pig could be seen in fire pit already cooking. John noticed a man walking up with a younger man about his and his brothers age with dirty blonde hair and soft brown eyes coming towards them.

“Welcome to our village. You must be the princes. And you must be the lovely Lady Cassandra.”

“Why you are most certainly correct good sir.” Cassandra just loved to be complemented any chance she could get.

“She might be beautiful on the outside but there is a snake that dwells inside the skin of that lady.” the hunter mumbled under his breath. The boy smiled to himself along with John and his brother. Cassandra was to self absorbed to notice the comment.

“I am Brian the leader of this here village and this is my son Carter.” the man replied and glanced at his son. Both brothers could tell easily that they were both werewolves. This man calling himself the leader was most likely the alpha male.

“I’m John and this is my brother Devin. So I take it Carter will be the one to show us around.”

“Afraid not. My boy has duties to fulfill if to become the next leader. The next best person shall show you how to live here.”

“Ahh then where is he.” Devin asked looking around.

“It is a she. And here she is. Boys this is the villages pride and joy Isobel O’shea” as he said this the hunter took off his helmet and revealed to be a beautiful girl. Taking off the helmet let lose a cascade of auburn ringlets falling below the shoulders. The hair was framing a heart shaped face with beautiful ice blue eyes. She had strong face that seem to give off a slight regal vibe to her. Along with her stance that showed off rebellion. She was at least close to 6 feet in height and walked gracefully to stand by Carter who placed a possessives hand on her waist. Most likely she was a werewolf herself and was this young wolf’s mate. Devin nodded his head slightly also taken aback by her young beauty, but to agree with what his brother thought. Isobel narrowed her eyes and took a step forward to be in close distance with the boys.

“I’ll have you know that I am not a Lycan and I am completely not Carter’s mate. So before you go around and start assuming things that are not true use your tiny pea sized brains and think.” with that Isobel stormed off but not before John could ask his question.

“I see there is a roasted pig so let me ask. Who is the buck for if not the villagers? Are you as selfish and spoiled as you seem?” Devin and Cassandra both laughed at this.

Isobel stopped in her tracks and stalked towards them with anger etched on her angelic face.

“If you must know your Highness it is for the orphaned children who have lost their parents lives to end your bitter war.” all three of the royals stared shocked at the girl. John understanding that he had made a mistake to judge her. Isobel then kept walking on, but stopped.

“You really shouldn’t have said that.” Carter whispered under his breath to the trio.”

“Why?” Cassandra asked. Just then Isobel turned around and looked at them with a serious face and then spoke with such a calm voice that sent shivers down their backs.

“Ohh and before I forget welcome to Wolfsbane village and may I say be careful where you stand.”

“Why is that Isobel?” Devin dreaded to ask. Just then a thick tree branch fell right above them. All three jumped and leapt safely away before any harm could be done.

“Isobel go now.” Brian stated with a smile spreading on his face. Isobel nodded her head and with a smirk spreading on her face walked off into the heart of the village. A small mist covering her so as to not be seen where she was going. At that moment John and Devin realized they had made an enemy that both were determined to know more about.

“Will we see her again?” John asked while helping Cassandra up.

“Of course you will. She will be companying us when we go on the hunt tomorrow. As you two are of the age of the boys we take you will come with us, but we pair the boys up in 2 but now I think we have an uneven number. I guess we will have to have a group of 3.” Brian stated with a knowing smile.

“Let us be paired up with Isobel.” Both John and Devin stated at once.

“So that we can apologizes to Isobel for our rudeness.” John claimed trying to cover up both boys excitement.

“Ohh of course only to apologize.” Brian laughed “But be careful, Isobel isn’t easily won over so quickly with a good smile.”

“We will see about that.” Devin whispered to his brother. Cassandra had a look of disgust and horror about her 2 boys trying to win the affections of not her but a farm girl.

We shall see about that Cassandra thought to herself.

Carter feeling the possessives come over him about someone else trying to steal his Isobel.

And she will be my Isobel Carter thought. So while these thoughts floated around and the emotions escalated the group followed Brian to the other side of the village to begin their day.

Author's Note

Its the first chapter in my book. Do you think i should keep the quote? give me your ahonest opinion.

Reviews

[KillerWithWords]

The content of this story/chapter is fantastic. I would suggest giving it a reread, just to correct some of your grammar. Some of your sentences need some editing, but nothing that a quick look-over won't fix.
As for the content. It is fantastic. You really have a handle on this whole fantasy world of yours. But I felt that the story was being told as if i already knew what this world looks like. I have no clue what the dynamics are of this civilization, what kind of history it had and more importantly-who has grievances against who.

For a first chapter-this is okay. You start off with keeping things interesting. But don't make the mistake (commonly made by readers who become writers) to abolish any 'boring' part of the story. It's okay to have a few boring chapters here or there.

I mean this all with constructive criticism.
This story is fantastic and i see a nice novel if you can keep up the work.