Trigger unhappy

Trigger unhappy

 

Paper…you wrote on it

Tore it and crumbled it

Now you want to straighten it.

I dare you to try.

Or better yet tell it you’re sorry

Did it work?

 

Don’t look to me for comfort

Don’t look to me for peace

 

I’d like to peel off your skin

Soak you in acid

I’m not hoping for your death

I can’t watch you suffer in that peaceful slumber

My happiness begins with your demise

 

Don’t look to me for comfort

Don’t look to me for peace

 

The love is gone

Unspeakable truths

Embedded in my irises

Suck it in

I know you’re sorry

A wasteless revelry

 

Don’t look to me for comfort

Don’t look to me for peace

 

I am done

You have won

Wishing for more ways

To tell you to go

F**K yourself

 

Reviews

[toritto]

Wow! What did he do?? Must have been something really nasty!

Nice poetic rant!!

Regards

[Mia]

The toilet set was always up…grates my carrot…haha! I’m just kidding! As always it’s a pleasure having you by, Frank!

[TLK]

The torture meted out in the narrator's imagination is Saw-level painful.

[Mia]

YIkes...sorry I missed this. Thanks for the read and review!

[Horizon K.]

Wow that was very powerful and the anger in this is loud and clear. I love how you say " wishing for more ways..." And in the first stanza "did it work?" Those phrases and the whole thing really, sharpened the frustration, driving this knife right in. Loved it!!!

[Mia]

When I’m cross, I’m cheeky and fight dirty, lol! Thank you :D
I’m very glad you enjoyed it!!

[Hester Vane]

Bloody Hell Mia! I am sorry you have had to experience something that made you this angry, but you show great strength by washing your hands of the situation! I really like this poem, the last stanza is definatley my favorite and I quite like the repetition, it adds force and power to the words. Great Job.

[Mia]

Thank you Hester :) I was pretty mad thank goodness that's over...thanks again for stopping by!

[Dr. Wood ?]

if this was a personal experience then the ANGER came through in coffin loads....Getting it out of your system does not come better than this...But Paper should be CRUMPLED, surely...not CRUMBLED......Great poem though...Hope you feel better for it

[Mia]

Thanks David, I'm glad you popped by. Yes paper does crumple but that's more like crushing the paper. Crumble is more breaking something into pieces...I did that on purpose :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

That's ok then...I often try to do the same thing......NOT crumple...Although at times I feel as if I might do JUST that.....Sorry for the silly interpretation

[Mia]

I appreciate you pointing it out...it's great to know people will correct me...or else I'll be the silly one :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

Ok.....I'll keep an eye out......my left one probably as it is made out of glass...Ha Ha

[Mia]

:D

[KAOlmsted]

You know what? I know I read this and I cannot for the life of me figure out why I didn't stop and sit a spell and say "HELL YEAH!" I must have been in a terrible rush.

Allow me to demonstrate now what I should have demonstrated then...*ahem*...HELL YEAH! HELL F*****G YEAH!

Did I mention...hell yeah?

Hell yeah.

:-D

[Mia]

You made my day! I'm glad you revisited this :D

[KAOlmsted]

Me too!

Hell

Yeah

...

[M.M.I]

The second stanza really confused me. I get the overall message of it though, and it comes together in the end. Lots of creativity. A neat little poem i'd say.

[Mia]

Thank you for the read and review.
The "I’d like to peel off your skin..." stanza confused you? It's really me just fantasizing about revenge and inflicting physical pain for the pain i felt. I hope that helps, I’m not sure how else to explain. I am glad you got the overall message. Again thanks for the read.

[Kriss_Rose]

HAHA!i enjoyed this very much. I understand a rage such as this. Good on you for articulating. What else can I say? I loved it

[Mia]

I'm glad you enjoyed it!! Thanks for the read :)

[Sid]

Whoa, you sure held nothing back on this; this poem is really dripping with frustration and anger with very well expressed emotions. And I agree a plain death isn't right for someone you have come to hate, seeing them suffer is much more like it. Guess I sound like a sadistic b*****d but what the hell...awesome write!!I'm really enjoying your writing!!

[Mia]

HAHA! If you sound like a sadistic b*****d, I'm afraid to ask what I sounded like! Thanks

[Sid]

;)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i agree with a previous review...the paper is like a relationship...once you crumple it up...it can never be perfectly straightened out again..the trust lost, is lost forever.

you can erase and rewrite, but the paper will always show the signs of destruction.

as in a relationship...what a wonderful analogy...

good piece...i really feel the speaker's wrath in this.

jacob

[Mia]

Thank you Jacob, I really enjoy your reviews and appreciate time!