Through My Eyes

Just felt it.

If you could see the world through my eyes,
all you'd see is dark and lonely grey skies,
if you listen real close you can almost hear the cries
of a little boy whose head was filled with lies,
no matter how hard he tries his spirt just dies.
Because nobody really cares much about him.
The light of God shining on his soul is getting kind of dim,
things are looking grim,
his chances are slim,
he can't stand to face the world so he covers his eyes with his brim.

So afraid but I couldn't just run and hide.
I covered my scared face with a mask called false pride.
I ask myself why I'm alive while most my friends
died fighting right there by my side.

Blood runs down the gutters of the streets of the Westside.
The gutters of the streets where us riders ride.
The streets of the city where life and death collide.
If you could see the world through my eyes,
everything would be blurry from one thousand tears
of one thousand cries.
 

Reviews

[Ed Hart]

We called ourselves the "39th Street Gang" and made zip guns out of car aerials...

[Celtic Cat]

I'm not one for rubbernecking on the highways at car wrecks....but I couldn't take my eyes off of that very disturbing photo! Yuck!!!! lol Actually reminded me of an operation my Dad had when they had to pop his eye ball out of the socket to remove a metal shard. *shudder*
OK....on to the piece!
I love it. I've read it over and over and it is full of raw emotion, so you're description is inarguable. I felt it, too. It is so hard to watch all your friends die and wonder why you are still here....I watch this through living with my man, whose best friends have mostly all died of overdoses.
The ending reminds me more of me....as I was once described by a psychic as "a mulititude of tears".
I've been dealing with depression for about 20 years, so most of these words I can relate with. The only one's that differ for me is the false pride. My face betrays me....it never lies.
Love this piece. Good writing and emoting!!

[Conversing Empty Words]

This is just outstanding.

I'm so impressed with your work.

[Brianna Brie]

Wow, I like this...not only your choice of words, but the compassion I hear. So, many people don't realize that some of us have been dealt with more advantages. We really are products of our environments.

of a little boy whose head was filled with lies,

The mind is a powerful thing...words spoken over us can make or break us!

[Brandon]

nice...the very first couple of lines were magnificent...drew me in, and rest of the poem kept me there...this is really, really good s**t...I liked this ALOT

[Tee-o]

I have thug friends in thug neighborhoods doing thug things and I can tell I've seen thier tears fall and there is truly nothing- nothing like watching a "tough guy" cry. I understand this piece all to well. I'm keeping this in Favorites and if you don't mind, I want to make copies of it to give to a few of my friends.

[Angelheaded Hipster]

I like the flow of this, and I like the rawness of it as well. But I think that deep down, you know you can overcome the streets...you ride them, don't let them ride you.

One reccomendation, you dont have to listen to me, just a thought....

he can't stand to face the world so he covers his eyes with his brim.

Maybe this would work as well, maybe a little better
He can't stand to face the world,
so he covers his eyes with his brim

finally, a real voice appears!

[Lola Nation]

Milkbone - you know how I already love your talent. Hah! "cruisin'" will forever be THE song. NO critiquing of the lyrics just suggesting making some breaks for ease of reading:

If you could see the world through my eyes,
all you'd see is dark and lonely grey skies,
if you listen real close you can almost hear the cries
of a little boy whose head was filled with lies,
no matter how hard he tries his spirt just dies.
Because nobody really cares much about him.
The light of God shining on his soul is getting kind of dim,
things are looking grim,
his chances are slim,
he can't stand to face the world so he covers his eyes with his brim.

So afraid but I couldn't just run and hide.
I covered my scared face with a mask called false pride.
I ask myself why I'm alive while most my friends
died fighting right there by my side.

Blood runs down the gutters of the streets of the Westside.
The gutters of the streets where us riders ride.
The streets of the city where life and death collide.
If you could see the world through my eyes,
everything would be blurry from one thousand tears
of one thousand cries.