Tin drum fable (finished)

this is the finished version of the Tin drum fable before... aesop offered no help here... lol

After the event no sound around
but breeze blowing dust
across scorched earth,
over the useless detached junk
that survived.

 

After the event no sound around
but the spirits leaving bodies,
there's nothing to find,
when everything has left you
in desolation.

 

After the event no sound around
but loneliness is deafening
and ears are burning
with impending silence
when end is found.

 

But after the event when there's no sound around
count on the tin drum
wind rattling thump, thump
heralding the things to come
in your heart.

 

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Having read the start I had to read the finish.

The last verse esp makes me think of what is to come in a writing sense. Maybe each time we write a poem it has it's own sequence of seasons. Reading your last verse makes me think of a new poem's Springtime before it has emerged. It is an exciting time in nature and an exciting time in a writing sense, that moment when we think 'yep, i got a few minutes in this quiet cafe on my tod' and you rip a blank page out of the book your reading start writing. Maybe at that precise point our hearts are engaged with the heart of the emerging poem...if we are very, very lucky. I prefer this second evocation from your words to thinking about the ruins of Stalingrad!

[Sujash I. Purna]

Loved it now! A great work indeed! A tell-tale heart beats even after the apocalypse...Tin Drum...
The orchestra stopped after a symphony but Tin Drum plays in any human heart...
Love was failure yet an impulse to grow anew with the Tin Drum noise...

Congrats on finishing! It is brilliant.