The Door

A metaphorical take on decision making

It is made of wood, lined with silver, and has a brass knob. It stands about six feet tall and two feet wide. Walking through this could lead to something exciting. But I’m hesitant. What if this is here as a shield? A shield from something that is not meant to be uncovered.
Or what if this is here to hide something that is meant to be discovered? What if it is something beneficial to me and all I need to do is open it and look inside?
But I don’t. I’m frightened of what I might find. It’s difficult to say what is in there. It could be something amazing and fascinating meant for my amusement. Or it could be something I need greatly. Or it could be something dreadful that is meant to be hidden. It could lead to sickness, sorrow, pain. Even death.
But I can’t be sure unless I open it. I have a great part of me that is pushing and urging me to twist the knob and satisfy my curiosity. Then there is another part that is warning against it, telling me I could face severe consequences for it. It’s a tough call. Too tough for me to make.
I look at it and see carvings. On one side I see a boy playing with his dog and smiling like there isn’t a care in the world. Then I see a slightly older boy with confusion etched on his face. Then there is a boy, with anger, guilt, confusion, and rage mashed together in one expression. It’s making my decision harder.
But what do these masterpieces represent? Is it the work of a vandal? Or is it a warning of what’s to come? Should I expect a careless, blithe atmosphere upon opening it? Perhaps a bit of ambiguity? Or hatred? What am I supposed to expect? I cannot answer.
I feel the knob as I contemplate making this move. I start to twist it, but I stop, for fear of making the wrong decision. I hear a voice saying, You’ll never know what’s inside unless you open it. Then I hear another saying, Some things are best to be left alone and not tampered with. But which voice am I supposed to listen to? The one with the positive tone, telling me to take this opportunity? Or the other, which is suggesting it is better to be safe than sorry? Which one, I do not know. Both are convincing. Yet I can only take one. But which one?
I keep fiddling with the knob as I contemplate the dilemma that has been placed before me. I want so bad to take this chance and discover the unknown, but I just can’t do it. I’m afraid of getting hurt, which is something I have accomplished the past years of my wretched life. I want to make a good decision for once, but it is too difficult. And knowing my luck with decisions, this will be one to regret when I do make it.
Suddenly I hear a sound. It’s coming from the other side. I hear joy and laughter. I hear children singing and playing. It’s so refreshing. I twist the knob.
But I stop halfway. How do I know this isn’t a trick? How do I know this won’t be added to my list of failures? I pine to open it and satisfy my curiosity, but I also want to play it safe and just ignore ever contemplating this idea. But I can’t. I have this nagging feeling in my heart that I may be right for once in my life. But my heart has been wrong before, so why start trusting it now? Why should I jump into a freezing pool of water without feeling the water first?
I look down the hallway, searching for other options. But there is no other. I look for an exit, but I see none. There is nothing. Nothing but me and a conflict I can’t resolve. It’s then that I realize that the only thing I can do is trust and let the rest fall into place.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. I think about what I am about to do. I start to doubt, but I realize that there is no time for that. It’s now or never. Do or die.
I twist the knob all the way, but I can’t open the door. My hand is shaking with fear. I still don’t trust myself. I want to do this so badly, but I’m afraid of screwing up.
I compose myself and push the door. And I open it.

The results of my decision are about to be made known.
 

Reviews

[mmrom517]

I really like how you expand on the concept of a metaphorical door, a noun which in itself is perhaps overused as a metaphor, but which you put in the background a bit to show what might lie beyond. I see you mentioning a lot of thoughts and emotions. Perhaps you might want to consider fleshing these out. In paragraph 1, for example, you shake a little with excitement at the prospect of what's on the other side. But then as you reach out, you touch the knob, then quickly pull away. And so on. I think near the end, you do more "showing" of what you are explaining earlier on.

I do think that a combination of scenes like this, along with you explaining your thoughts and emotions, could provide a good tandem for the reader to enter into what many of us face often.

I like like paragraphs like the one with the boy and the dog. When we can imagine ourselves in a different scenario--good or bad--it really affects the decision process.