Alone

Alone

A Poem by Serena
"

Feeling like I'm just being watched and people are waiting for the day I snap, yet feeling very alone since my constant mood changes, I guess, frustrate people to the point that they leave...

"
Faces stare out into the darkness
Filling the room with silence,
yet, there is no one there

Voices dance in the stifling air
Judging the creature they see before them
Waiting for the day I finally snap
yet, there is no one there

Figures lurk in the shadows
As the light flickers, swaying this way and that
Unveiling the demons that stalk my shadow
yet, there is no one there

I am alone

© 2017 Serena


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Reviews

This poem haunts me and I think that’s why I like it!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Serena

4 Years Ago

I'm glad you like it :)
I'm finding it hard to describe how much I enjoyed this poem. Well done!

If I may, however, I only have one note. Stanza two Line 2: "thing" is not a word that has that much power here, and given that it's supposed to be referring to "you", I presume, it only adds further oddity to the line, for you're not necessarily a "thing" (it also adds a bit of confusion since you refer to "yourself" in the next line, which kind of changes/distorts the image you're painting in the poem). Simply find a better word that describes how the subject ("you") is/feels, and it would better convey that this "thing" is actually "you", and this poem would be tuned to absolute perfection. Well done!

Posted 7 Years Ago


"Waiting for the day I finally snap
yet, there is no one there"
So relatable to me! The bottled up anger is what makes me scared and that the people around would have to suffer. nice reading it :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Serena

8 Years Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed my poem :)
Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

My pleasure :)
Dark and honest. I feel you have a very mature writing style for someone in high school. Love the line "as the light flickers, swaying this way and that Unveiling the demons that stalk my shadow."

Posted 9 Years Ago


Serena

9 Years Ago

Thank you. I have a lot of "demons" that haunt me in my past. It makes it hard to keep friends and r.. read more
I found it good at reading...!! keep it up!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Serena

9 Years Ago

:) Will do. Thanks!

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387 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 19, 2015
Last Updated on July 8, 2017

Author

Serena
Serena

MD



About
Few things about me: 1. I love poetry, and write stories when bored and nothing to write comes to mind 2. I have bad spelling 3. I'm a gamer and love anime/manga :3 4. I love reading and writing .. more..

Writing
Sun and Moon Sun and Moon

A Poem by Serena