one bag each night

take one bag each night

to the woods, where eyes can't see

movement: still alive

For the "GotHaiku" contest.

Reviews

[Richard Man]

The writer of this poem has to take a train in order to go to the woods. Another passenger fascinated by seeing the movement in the bag says to the poet.... "I don't know what's in the bag but if I quess how many there are, can I have one?" "If you guess correct" says the poet, tired of writing seventeen syllables in three lines prior to his journey, "You can have both!"

[Dennis A. Clark]

I really dig your responses. They are like flash-fiction reviews or like fan fic (expanding on the source).

Ha, see? A review of a review.

[Richard Man]

I keep eleven hens. When it's time for us to part. We go to the woods.

[Richard Man]

Eleven no, seven yes, eight,nine, ten no no no but thirteen yes. That was a six silly-balls-up!

[Be myself!]

Mystery..i like it. It could be a psychopath, a serial killer, or a hunter. This is why I love your writing..you play with our mind and flip the switch to our imagination.

[writing mojo]

I am thinking of a junkie with cold hands until the heroin cooking on the spoon burns his fingertips, he uses the woods as his hiding place from the bye and bye, nodding off about his day until night turns to light...great piece

[Dennis A. Clark]

Awesome. I like where your mind went.

[writing mojo]

the question isn't where, but when will I come back? I loved the picture painting poems, gives me so much room to look around before staying in a foundation of thought, will return again

[Chris]

I liked the sense of "dark"

[KAOlmsted]

I couldn't help but think of a killer disposing a body...but then I was like, wait, what? Still alive? And then I thought, well, sure, the killer is still alive; perhaps a serial killer...one who needs to kill and dispose to feel alive. But then I was like, wait, what? Am I seriously that twisted to think that? Turns out, yeah...I am. Good write, this ;-)

-kimmer

[Dennis A. Clark]

Haha! Love your back-and-forth.

Yes, it's one bag per night and one body per bag.

[KAOlmsted]

*content sigh* Nice...and yeah, that's what it's like in my head, all day every day ;-)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Really nice brings to mind lovely imagery but also has a mysterious quality to it.

[Dennis A. Clark]

Thanks for taking a look, Carolann.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Welcome :)

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

aha...i thought you were dumping garbage in thje forest my man....but after reading the third line...
interwesting haiku

[Dennis A. Clark]

Yes, yes--that's the Gothic twist. Glad you caught that one.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

hehheee

[Yellow Butterfly]

Your use of imagistic language to convey the essence of an experience of nature has been wonderfully penned in this enchanting Haiku.

:o)

[Dennis A. Clark]

Thank you. You had me at "imagistic."

[Quill~]

Intriguing Haiku. I like it. Nice work. :)

[Dennis A. Clark]

Thanks, Quill. The contest's parameters are to write a strict 5-7-5 haiku and to include a "Gothic" feel.