Nights on Fire

This is an older poem. I wrote it maybe two years ago, and haven't looked at it since. I like it though. It's got a sort of magical feeling, and also sort of an ominous one. Maybe it's the shadows?

 Down the road 

 

 

and through the town, 

dots of fire 

all around, 

I've got you 

and you've got me, 

we don't care about anything 

turn my whole world upside down, 

down the road 

and thru the town. 

Sky's on fire

blazing red,

pulled like needles

through a thread,

hold me close

I'll squeeze you tight,

till we see the morning light, 

shadows dancing all around

down the road 

and through the town.

Reviews

[Bluet_Belle]

i like this. It makes me think of Beltane celebrations:P

Fun fun fun:P

Its very nice, very sweet and bright. Like incense burning, that strong sweet smell and bright ember, this poem is like the smoke that love gives off, that shadow, translucent, ethereal feeling that wraps us up in the magic of romance:P

Very good write, i look forward to reading more of your work:)

[Hanan_Maliah]

I enjoyed this...I liked the flow and the energy you represented with the fire! I usually don't do stories but I'll stop by sometime...

[Jean]

This was nice.
I liked the repetition that you used and it had a nice flow. But check the syllables, and pattern. And definitely the grammar. :C
What you might want to do to make it more appealing to the eye is, first of all, change 'thru' to 'through'. Sorry, that bugs me. :) And next, possibly split it up into different stanzas so that it looks easier to read? Though, as it is now it would be hard to split into equal stanzas. You have a nice flow, but you're devode of pattern. Add a couple lines, get rid of some useless words, push some lines together. You know, make it all work. But don't forget to keep that repetition! :)
Hope this helps.
-Jean

[Yellow Snake]

This is energetic, romantic, sweet! Moves fast. Evokes images of downtown in the middle of the night, laughing, playing, letting hearts fall in love...
Good write!