Just a memory

The heartbreak of being led on by the one you fell for.

You can’t commit to a label, but you say that you care,

You’re always there, but you’ve sheltered the key,

Your mind plays tricks with me,

Your heart locked away, yet mine’s on my sleeve,

I believed that for once a man might have faith in me.

 

Commitment issues, such a fixable problem,

Trust is the answer, yet you downright refuse to,

I took the leap and I trusted you,

But you led me down a path, to which you never followed,

My tears sting my eyes, as I lay there and wallow.

 

I cover my face with my warm fleece blanket,

My eyes stained with redness as I lay there and take it,

You swear up and down that you didn’t want to hurt me,

It’s one thing to believe it, but another thing to mean it,

Everything is changed, but only I can see and feel it.

 

You weren’t affected by the games that you played on me,

My voice is shaken, my hands are trembling,

As I break down in sadness, you try to comfort me,

But I can’t stand your touch as the butterflies are swarming,

I’m still in love, even as you sit there and hurt me.

 

Unbeknownst to you, I’ve lost everything I dreamed of,

My other shots at love ended in deafening pain,

You’re usually observant, but you are so oblivious,

This treacherous nightmare, its side-effect numbing,

Two minutes later you’re texting, the next girl you’ll be hurting.

 

She’s your newest play toy, your most recent game,

My jealousy flaring, offended by this fleeting change,

When did she become important and why’s it me crumpled over?

My head in my hands, you pretend not to notice,

Or maybe you knew all along and your goal was to do this.

 

As much as I hate you, I’ve loved you all along,

You were the person I came to when everything was wrong,

My long self-journey with your guiding hand,

You were everything to me, now just a memory,

And now it’s come to an end.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism please!