Depressing and Venting

My mood tends to be calm and peaceful but as of late, I go from being mad to being sad, and my tone of voice, depicts this too much,. so my supervisor at work, has started a disciplinary action.

  My mind is full of much thoughts,

and my mood is a swinging, back and forth.

  My heart is compressing and keeping away,

all darts full of lies, and so much hurt.

  My mind keeps processing, everything,

as I try compressing all my doubts.

   My heart beats heavily, as some scars,

bleed out, and even than I give you a smile.

   My mind is full of so many things,

that only God could sort it all out.

    My scars are aching and throbbing about,

as I try to keep on moving about.

    My mood keeps going up and down,

and hard as I try, its not always upbeat.

    My voice can vary alongside my mood,

so please stop saying that mood does not count.

    My own desire is to keep this job,

for at least 3 more years and than I am out.

    Yet if you keep persisting to lie in my face,

saying you understand me, when you really do not.

     I will keep on working as hard as I can,

to sound more upbeat and not so flat.

      Yet all disciplinary action, you take against me,

to force me to change my monotone voice,

is not really helping, and yet you cannot see.

        How much I am fighting to not close 

myself off.  This heart now of flesh, is harder

to control, and tears tend to come, even if I say no.

       I am not perfect but I do work hard,

and will keep on going, until you say no more.

         

Reviews

[apennylate]

Stay positive, and keep managing those inner demons... A great poem here, and one that serves to highlight the fact you are not just a black space to be bossed around... But a human being with rights and feelings... Use them, and I hope things smooth out soon enough... Well penned...

[Maria]

Thank you so much Silente. Appreciate your encouragement, this past week, was not the best, and my mood was way off, day in and day out. At this time, I have come to see, that much of my stress, has been fear of failure and of criticism, so in the end, will be talking out with my dad, my upcoming plans, and make sure the transition of moving from one place to the next, is as smooth as possible, and will of course have support from other family members as well.

[Coyote Poetry]

I understand this poem Maria.
" I am not perfect but I do work hard,
and will keep on going, until you say no more."
The above lines is all we can do. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts.
Coyote