Frustrations and Stress

Am currently in a spot of trying to better myself in regards to managing my finances in a way, that I can learn to survive on my own, the rest of my life, without looking to become rich monetary wise

I have a job, and a steady income,

yet I feel frustrated.

My life is pretty simple.

I barely go out, and if I do

I always have my daughter with me.

We do not shop at high end stores,

like GAP and the such, but go to

Places like Salvation Army to get 

clothes.

And the most I must pay at this time,

is just my cellphone, and daughters own

school transportation plus my own transportation.

Any extra would go more towards allergy medicines 

and toiletries, and groceries.

Yet, even then, I am always a tad short on money,

to go even to the movies.

And I have never been 

able to manage a budget like most people do.

I have always hated anything that has to do 

with math.

Yet I know that I should work harder on 

creating my own budget in order to 

save money for other things.

So, stress comes in and on top of that

my frustration, tends to cause an explosion

of depression.

I am blessed already, in other ways, and yet,

I still do not feel as if I

have accomplished anything in my own life,

besides being a single mother to my

only child aka teenage daughter.

And for some reason, I am unable

to look beyond my current situation,

and feel guilty about it as well.

I know others are dealing with stuff that truly

merits to reap rewards for their stamina and courage.

And even I have overcome much with Gods help.

But for now, I feel as if I am being 

pressed through a really narrow road,

that is stripping me from all negativity.

And this in itself, is what I want. Yet the process

is not easy one, but what is?

So I should stop whining and complaining 

yet my own fear of failing, keeps holding on to me

and I am struggling to continue the work

I am currently doing for at least 2 to 3 more years the most

and by that time, be in a much more stable place, mentally

and spiritually, to move onward to my dreams.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I started out my adulthood making pretty good money & working my way up the ladder of life. But in the past 20 years, nobody in the middle class is getting ahead, we're all falling further & further behind. Things have steadily gotten more expensive, but incomes haven't changed or have gotten lower. I used to think I was the one to blame, not getting ahead in my life. But when this past election came & went, we saw that many middle class people are feeling exactly the same way you do, despairing at ever being able to put their kids thru college, etc. You have written a portrait of a life that is happening all over our nation. The middle class has been getting screwed while the rich get richer & richer & richer. Please don't blame yourself. This is why people are on the streets protesting constantly. People are hurting just like you (((HUGS)))

[Ethan]

Your views are expressed very well. Nicely done. On another note, I don't think this classifies as a poem. It's more of a story, really.

[Hope]

You really explained well through your poem, Maria:)
And I hope all the best for you dear:)
Thanks for sharing this!!

[Accalia]

Don't give up! I understand the whole money situation completely, and things will improve. Good work and keep on writing.

[Paul Bell]

Think we all feel that way at some stage in our lives.
You sort of answer all your own questions. Small changes can reap rewards. Don't punish yourself. Instead praise how good and how far you've moved on.