Nonsense from the mind

just really random stuff.

Its raining outside and I am sitting 

here in my small cubicle.

The drops of rain run down the window

I have behind me.

The sky is grey and full of many clouds

and my daughter is at home with a cough.

I do not mind sitting here, really I do not

but at times I want to run.

The cars in the parking lot are being washed

of all dust and grime and getting 

clean for free.

And I am sitting here wondering how in the 

world will I get home today.

For you see I am without a car and have been since 2013.

So my moving around is very limited to my aging father, taxi man

and any helpful soul that does not mind giving me a ride

home.

I must be dialing and or fetching leads, yet there are not many and too many

people here.

So I get disheartened and want to just get up and leave.

Yet than I remember that I am not alone.

So I must find renewed motivation within me

and do my best to finish my shift.

Rain has stopped but sky still grey and cloudy.

Tis the rainy season we are in right now

and it bugs my allergies.

I get that we have to learn to work and 

make a living for ourselves yet how come

all that schooling never said how tough it be

once we got out.

This is so repetitive and I feel that I could be 

doing so much more and I want to do 

more than just sit here in front of this computer.

Is there more out there than this life I have come to know.

Could be I am unsure.

So my mind feels a bit muddle today and my mood

is quiet and retracted.  I want to be sleeping in my bed.

But alas here I am since 6am in the morning.

I hate feeling this way I do, yet many others

are at home resting and sleeping in and getting time to spend 

with their families.

Of course home no longer means the same to me

since my mom no longer is here. Yet my daughter

whom I love to death still lives at home and needs me still

or so she says and I must do my best to give 

her the chance I never had to make a bigger imprint 

within this world.

And so for now I have no care for punctuation marks or grammatical rules.

So pardon if this seems to run without a pace cause I really 

have no care.

The ceiling above my head matches the sky outside. Grey and dull and I hate 

the air conditioner since it bugs my allergies.

The computer is black and keyboard too as is the mouse.  My desk is white with a blue pastel color on the sides...

My chair is a lime green and the worst chair ever as my back and butt hurt so much

I really just want to be outside in the rain and have no care in the world

but I cannot do this yet.

So here I come to put my random thoughts down on this screen for all to see

and for all to read.

My mind is a machine that never stops processing.  I feel as if I am losing 

my humanity as words come through and all I do is keep on typing 

as they come.

So I wish you all a good afternoon or evening depending on where you are

within this world that is groaning in pain as we lay waste to all of nature.

And I will see if I am able to find that which I am needing at this time

to finish my work and make it through the rest of my shift and not 

feel so gloom.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest and real thoughts.
"So I get disheartened and want to just get up and leave.
Yet than I remember that I am not alone.
So I must find renewed motivation within me
and do my best to finish my shift."
I understand the above lines. I dislike my work but I need money. I like the description in the poem. Dear Maria. You made the reader feel your thoughts and want to escape.
Coyote

[Maria]

Thank you Mr. Coyote, I truly appreciate your input always. Good day to you. ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Maria.

[Maria]

Thank you again.

[OneAmongstMany]

I love the honesty and heartfelt emotion throughout. I liked the flow and pace of the poem even though there was no clear structure. Just words flowing from an open heart. Thank you for sharing

[Maria]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. I am opened to all input, and yeah today has just been a somewhat lousy day, and am bored out of my mind....

[duff]

Heart on a sleeve writing. Strangled by the cubicle and it's overcast umbrella. I know these shoes. Minutes feel like hours. Can I really make it through? Brilliant job at taking that mood and conveying it.

[Maria]

Thanks, know I failed grammar wise, but that was my intention....and its still dark and grey outside...too..

[duff]

I think it's great the way it is. I would take an overcast day. Its blazing hot here, lol.

[Maria]

Man, than by all means let us switch places...I do not mind when it cools down the air, and all that. Just the fact my allergies go crazy and I am not able to get wet or it means pneumonia for me...sigh...but got 2 hours and a half left for now...woohoo.

[duff]

I like snow to be honest, haha. You're almost done:)

[Maria]

Yes, I am....Long face....just want to go home and get in bed with warm blankets and a cup of tea perhaps and slumber off...

[duff]

That does sound quite relaxing. I think I'm having an espresso, lol

[Maria]

Dude, you are talking my language, now..hehehe. In all honesty I do not mind the snow to an extent. Love making snow angles, but I totally suck at skiing, I was banned from one resort up in Colorado, after I forgot to break and hit someone down below....ice skating I could try and improve, and I want to learn how to snowboard in spite of it all..hows that..

[duff]

Haha! That's hilarious. So I'm from Colorado and love snow but don't snowboard or ski, lol. I've been but I don't on a regular basis. I can ice skate but I can't stop. Being banned is pretty awesome though:)

[Maria]

Hahaha, cannot remember the name of the resort, and mind you I was just 10...and see, since I am short, people think I am still 12...so, they had a hard time finding something fitting, and eventually, we went to class along with my brother and cousins, and I was sore afraid and still am sorta of high places, so I literally, ahem was squeezing my eyes shut as I was pushed down the hill, and literally, managed to not fall over till the very end, and I heard screaming, Brake, Brake!! and I did the opposite and leaned forward and that made me go faster, and the guy at the bottom whom was taller than me, simply stood still until I knocked into him, and we were so tangled that it took 15 minutes before neither could move...

[duff]

Lmao! That's a skiing story right there. I remember being taken out by some little badass who was probably 12 or something so I couldn't get mad, lol. I bet I know the resort.

[Maria]

Hmm you probably, might. We were visiting from Virginia mind you...we get snow there too. But nothing like Colorado. Afterwards I was sent back to my parents whom were ashamed of little me, and got me some chocolate, while the boys were still off skiing...I was soooo mad...and oh the guy, in his mid twenties came over afterwards and told me to keep my eyes opened next time around. I nearly fainted...He was so well handsome, at least for my 10 year old mind at that time he was...sigh

[duff]

Sounds about right. Haha, too funny. Those are the scenes out of an adolescent 80's movie! Hilarious. I lived in Virginia too. Snow yes but not like Colorado as you said.

[Maria]

What, really?? When and where???