Hope in midst of nothing

Life was nothing to me, meant nothing to me, until, I was able to confront my tormentor and my past, head on last, and my faith in God helped me overcome much. He came and rescued me.

Broken.

No going back, no hope, nothing.

Emptiness.

No feeling, no room for tears.

Broken.

Too many scars, too many shadows.

Shattered.

No repair or fix, no glue.

Pieces.

Scarring, heartless, lifeless.

Or so I thought, until He showed up.

Why bother coming, I am nothing.

I am filth, I am useless.

Hope, a tiny speck, within my heart.

Life, heartbeat, coming back, coming back...

Pain, heartache, what is this?

Anger, bitterness, rage, where is justice?

Rejection, tainted, unwanted, 

Guilt, shame, self hurt---

Why bother, leave me be.

Who will ever love me?

Or even want to be near me?

Look at me!! Look at my face!!

My scars run deep. All I want is to be left alone.

He gently persists in showing me the truth, 

and covering me with His love.

Yet I struggle, struggle to the end, until finally,

The walls are taken apart, my prison cell opened,

And my inner child is walked out from a room, full of much pain, 

confusion and rage.

She keeps on looking back, into her cell, waiting to see,

if he will ever come out into the light...

Yet, it growls and pounces, but stays well away from the light.

It does not want to be seen, or recognized by anyone, and it 

stays inside, ready to blame me, for any wrong doing.

But what did I ever do, to merit rape, or abuse of any kind?

Who am I, to forget such a thing.  Yet, somehow in some way,

I did forget until, You came and opened up the door, that led into that frightful

moment, in which my life hanged from a thread of helplessness, and  unforgiveness...

Light, healing, Love,

set me free, and my heart, oh this heart

Beating and very much alive.

No longer broken, no longer in pain.

Yet the scars are there, well hidden, unless you look closely, yet these do not define 

me.

I am stronger, wiser, and an over comer.  There is new hope and new life.

You rescued me from my pit and given me new reason to live.

Tears, of joy, and sadness fall, from time to time, but alas, now I live and am no longer dead, from the inside.

Reviews

[B.A. Radiant]

Oh, wow! I agree on the emotional intensity. The flicker of hope in the dark that love can help guide into the light. But, so much more I don't want to intrude by trying to simplify this. I'm without words to review this properly. Thank you for writing this.

[Maria]

Thank you, and I appreciate all input, its been a while since I have given this whole writing thing again. So I feel a tad murky, but do my best to just let my heart pour out.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Hope. Alexander said he conquered the world with just one Hope. Hope in midst of nothing is simply our faith and love in God.

[Maria]

Amen, I totally agree with you. Believe me, I would not be here, if it were not for Gods Loving reach into my deepest wells of pain and fear, guilt and shame.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Stay hungry, stay foolish and keep God always in your heart. You would definitely overcome all the hurdles strong. The game called life, Ply it hard....

[Maria]

Yes, I strive to do so each new day, that He allows me to awake.

[duff]

This is emotionally intense. Although we maybe just a speck in the universe that speck still deserves respect. Obviously things don't always workout that way but still. Words of perseverance and strength. Keep on keeping on:)

[Maria]

Thanks sure will.