omg! poignant, hilarious, distressing. i did a 6 wk stint and we had one like this, as well. and she taught me how to break all the rules. she got caught [too visible], but i never did. i don't remember her name either, but she had great shoes.
your tone is typically 'you' -- no apology, no drama -- it was what it was.
The pace of this serves both the memory and the character very well.
I liked how the 4 stanzas after the first defined a different side of her, and the one liner " then they let her go."- Very effective.
Oh this is so delightfully twisted. I find the way you put down these words and the words you chose to be so apropos. Wonderful, funny, tragic and convoluted all at once.
What I really like is the honesty and directness with which you write, funny, wry,ironical and true. I work with young people who have mental illnesses, and what you write contains a real important truth, that people who are ill are still people, who are often creative, funny, happy and able to get well. A great poem.
I so relate. I was committed as a teenager for 2 years......
Posted 12 Years Ago
Very interesting and it spoke out a lot. Its as if you are hanging on to this memory for a reason and expressing it through the poem made it amazing. great job with this piece and I can't wait to read more.