with painted faces we bare our cheeks and swing our hips as the men dispense dollars and suck down their beer feeling good about themselves sharing a bond of complicity
(tip the dj extra so when you're giving a lap dance he'll play 6 songs in a row.)
in the champagne room two flutes from a bottle of perrier-jouet and we stroke their egos til they feel like a million bucks...
it's two a.m. they walk to their cars with a smile on their faces glitter on their shirts and a hole in their wallet.
quickly becoming one of my fav's..it took me to the diner, that's for sure..i adore the ending, as well...suggestive and witty and a bit unexpected
and I missed the flute part the first couple times I read it..perhaps that french literary device that I shall refrain from trying to spell...
I was talking to Dana about this piece in a review..maybe I'll suggest a quasi-random wandering by
I had a friend who fell for that diner trick...kudos to a shy guy asking her to breakfast, though...it gave him envious street cred with our alpha male mutual friend for a while...haha, a small window for looking into the shallow world of dudes, I guess
thankfully I'm too poor to even be tempted by these places...but yeah I need to step out of my leisure suit of literal and play a few more hands of poker with this one
p.s. thanks for sharing (and for teaching me the word complicity), and, of course, well done.
I love this poem!! Strip clubs were just another part of growing up and I had around 25-30 friends who danced and stuff, too. Girls I knew, would go to a different kind of "strip party" and they were married and had boyfriends, too, but a few of them would get screwed on the tables and have the guys "shoot" on their faces!! Opinions are as plentiful as the ones who write them....... young girls. lol Half the time they are high as a kite, marked by sores and burns, and sometimes 200-300 pounds if you don't do your research going into the right club!! lol -Mark
Absolutely Awesome...
I mut admit Mb, I read and reread this several times until the smile left my face...
your description of both 'he' and 'she' were right on perfect...not that I would know..
I loved the reality of this piece....no pun intended
allen
not sure what the glitter on his shirt may be...but I'll use my imagination. :))
Mb...please read 20 Minutes + 600 pesetas for a similar theme
I'm not sure how to send as link...
I'm not sure how much better you could write this. I know many guys that spend a lot of money all for that "feeling". Guys...we're not the most intelligent species are we. :) I guess that's why strip clubs and the girls do so well. Hey, more power to you, we're a dime a dozen aren't we. lol
I liked the way you put the second and third stanzas in brackets, as if an instruction or a "self" reminder... I also liked that the write starts with "we" and ends with "she"...
I suppose that some men do enjoy this form of entertainment, and I won't fall in the trap of being judge-mental about it, but you've portrayed a sad side of it well.
I love the wonder of this poem. The different subject and the way you described the men and the female worker. The stanzas in brackets made it different compared to others I've read. Delightful and refreshing.
Excellent. I like this so much, you capture the exchanges between the men and the dancers so well, what the dancers actually are doing for these men - stroking egos.