Numb

Not really a poem... Just words. Nothing profound.

I have been on a writing hiatus for the longest time now.

I'd write down a sentence or two, but do they really have any connection or meaning? Something is different now.

I have thrown myself into a pit of despair fully knowing I'd struggle to find a way out. I'll claim that I've done it for good reason, but I'll really have no clue as to why I did it.

I have a void to fill within me. With each passing year, I lose a sense of myself. I lose another feeling. A feeling that was connected to my being with a part of reality. All ties to anything real are now diminishing. I don't know how many are left. Not many I believe.

Soon I'll be nothing. Was I ever anything to begin with? Anything at all?

The feelings in my memories are wearing themselves numb.

I am numb.

All I'll ever remember, or want to remember, is the warm honey glow of summer and the chilling desperation it has caused me.

I dream of encompassing the ruby incarnate flames of fire. I envision the cold, merciless waves of the ocean divine ravaging me until I burn out. It's my warped love of freedom. It's what I would fall on my knees for. It's what I would die for.

You could try to breathe life back into me, but there is no use. I'll fight you. I'll kick, push, and scream. For freedom is an everlasting, beautiful dream and in this life I have only come to know nightmares.

Don't waste anything on me or you too will be seduced by the darkness of the void and become numb.

Reviews

[Suhd]

The intensity with which you write seems so original and that is exactly what kept me reading this write-up. It's filled with despair but in life and around us what isn't. I can totally relate to this.