The Lowly Cultist

Ever wondered who tends the needs for Satanists? Here a little humourous take on the idea...

The Lowly Cultist

1. I am a lowly cultist, I do just what I'm told, 

So I can go on deeper, into this demonic fold, 

I've only just joined you see, so I'm really lowly ranked, 

My job is hugely varied, though it's unlikely, I'll be thanked. 

2. The kind of things I have to do, is mostly to prepare, 

Set-up the needs for ritual, or sometimes to repair,

Things that get used a lot, like unholy Pentagram, 

That they use to promote their views, on dreaded Instagram.

3. Sometimes I need to get more salt, or go to library, 

To pick up oh-so special books, with a little bribary,

I need to light the candles, clean and iron Alter Cloth, 

So attempt be made to summon, The Lord God Azathoth. 

4. Every day I mop the floor, to remove those darkened stains, 

And certainly dispose of, last night's gory remains, 

It can be a stressful business, meeting Great Beelzebub,

So I've had to go on training, on how to give a good back rub.

5. Other things I have to do, like run them a hot bath, 

After hours of chanting wildly, taking the left-hand path, 

They all get very sweaty, and most of them do keep,

Important, high-ranked day jobs, so they really need their sleep.

6. So I ensure their rooms, are always very clean, 

Fresh sheets upon their beds, no spec of dust to be seen,

As you can see I'm really busy, so it's good I get my rest,

And I'm really very thankful, of these markings on my chest.

7.  As before I came here, I'd no-where else to go, 

Normal people hated me, and called me "That Psycho", 

But as I say, I'm happy now, that They've taken me in,  

I've only have to give my time...and a section of my skin.

8. They've given me home to live, though some would say it's small, 

So it's really very fortunate, that I'm not so very tall,

And I don't mind the darkness, and the damp making things rot,

As I'm a lowly cultist, and I'm happy with my lot. 

Reviews

[Hayley]

This is great! Were you inspired by Lovecraft at all, or just general horror/comedy?