Romeo (Celestine) and Juliet: The Twisted Version Prologue

Enjoy chapter one!

"Home sweet home."  Celestine says as she glances over to me with a smile. She then continues on, and barges into the abandoned shack. I must say, though. It is nice not having to be so prim and proper, to let my wild side show. Even better is the fact that I have Celestine to show my true self to, too. 

I start a fire in the shack's hearth, the orange tongues flickering around, waiting to eat up all of the oxygen. While I start the fire, Celestine is unloading our horses we used to run off. I hope my parents won't mind a few horses gone. Only, I do feel bad for the poor soul accused of stealing the horses.

Celestine is unloading the bedding materials onto the old bed frame while I step outside, soaking in all of the beautiful, cool night. Suddenly my world fades away.

The words echo through my head as I watch Romeo and I in the grand hall. It is an odd thing really. He just approached me from seemingly no where. Nevertheless, how come he didn't understand why I stood still? I didn't want to kiss him! I shake my head as I watch. Yes, pilgrim. They have lips that they're supposed to pray with. Oh, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair. These words ring through my head. 

Did I have to kill him? No. I didn't, and maybe I will forever regret it. But did I love him? No. 

The dream world fades away as I turn to Celestine, who has recently joined me outside. I then realize something. Something that took Romeo's death and running away to realize. I don't need the money and comforts of home to be happy. I don't need a man nor luxurious jewels or silks to be happy. I need Celestine, and her only. And so little can satisfy the soul, and it seems I got lucky enough to find her, the one who can tame and satisfy this hungry soul.

Author's Note

I do apologize it is not as fancy or proper as the original. I know thee, thy, thou etc, but I am not very good at using them LOL. Anyways, thank you so much for reading!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

First off, "thee and thou" stuff is called "Elizabethan" style of language & I HATE IT! Please don't use it unless you enjoy using it. Secondly, I love where this is going. I think it's a mature treatment of the Romeo & Juliet storyline. You have slowed yourself down a little bit here, so it's better than the prologue, but you could still stand to slow yourself down more & add more detail. Detail is what makes a story compelling. Example in paragraph 1: "It is nice not having to be so prim and proper, to let my wild side show." -- Instead of using cliche phrases like "prim & proper" or "wild side" -- better to SHOW us what those things look like. Instead of using description to tell us how Juliet wants to cut loose, SHOW us in your storyline. Juliet leaps from her horse & pulls Celestine off her horse & they roll around in the long grass with their bloomers showing. That is how you SHOW instead of tell. You are passing by the spice of your story if you do not show us these two women being frisky with each other . . . show me how much they want to stop being prim & proper. To be a good storyteller, you have to linger a while, let us see these people living their lives & showing us who they are. Don't rush over it, saying "It is nice not having to be so prim and proper, to let my wild side show." like this tells the whole story. It is YOUR JOB as a storyteller to SHOW US THE WHOLE STORY. Show us what you mean by "prim & proper" or "wild" . . . otherwise these are just adjectives, not a fulsome story! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Rose]

Thank you so much for your feedback! This will absolutely enhance my next chapter! Thank you very much and I hope you have an amazing day! ❤️

[Vertigo Cat1111]

You used all those words brilliantly! I love this twist so much, it’s just so smart, and your writing is absolutely amazing. I love the way it’s written, it’s so intriguing and yet such a relaxing read. I really hope this is a real book one day, because you can bet I’ll be buying it! Can’t wait for the next chapter!

[Rose]

THANK YOU SO FREAKIN MUCH! IT MEANS THE WORLD TO MEEEE! OmG seriously thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️ You are the bestttt I seriously hope you have a day as amazing as you are! ❤️

[Vertigo Cat1111]

You're the absolute best too! Thank you so much for all the support and for being such an absolute kind sou!

[Vertigo Cat1111]

*soul* oopsie lol