" A TRIBUT TO MY SLAIN BROTHER"

A poem in tribute to my slain brother in arms SGT. Daniel Morris may he rest in peace

Daniel I can't believe that you're no longer here today but, I know better I know we didn't come here to stay and if you were here you would encourage me with the GOOD NEWS now Im having mixed reviews you would tell me to pray to GOD but, I feel like sending the prey to GOD and grasping a 203 Bravo  with the support of an Apache and a MK 19 not to mention an M1A2 tank so these extremist can tank, make them take their last salat before I send em from the battlefield to brimstone, cowards,  instead of looking foward to virgins they can look foward to multiple bullets you can't get no holier than that and I don't need to be coked up or doped up on LSD I can kill soberly and I know violence begets more violence they took you away from me Daniel and now I mourn you in silence when we were't on base we were at church and knocking on doors tryin to win souls now I feel like kicking down doors and executing your killers humble in spirit and strong in courage when I was down you were able to encourage we had good times, good chow, and good laughs and now like a mad man Im laughing till I cry tell me Daniel why did you have to die at least I don't have to pray for you anymore and you don't have to study war anymore my brotha

 I felt that you should have the honor of being the first poem placed on the page RIP my brother and I love you

Reviews

[Awake.&.Unafraid]

Wow, this is truly a touching and emotionally stunning piece of writing. I applaud you on being able to write something of so much merit by delving into such a painful part of life.

I sensed a rhythm scheme, especially in the begining of the poem that really helped the flow of your words. The rhyming you used (again, I noticed it especially in the first few lines, but also in the ending) also helped to make the poem pleasing to read and very powerful emotionally. If I could make a small suggestion, perhaps if you ever chose to edit this you might choose to split up the body of the poem into seperate lines so that the reader may comprehend the rhythm of the piece better.

I am deeply sorry for your loss and offer you my deepest condolences. Your writing is beautiful and truly touched my heart. Thank you for sharing this.

A&U

It's a very nice tribute (a little violent, but perhaps that's fitting for a soldier?), though it's a little daunting to read. If you could include even a few periods here and there it works wonders for readability.