It hurts

Sad and weird

It's broken. He broke it I thought he was different but he's not. It's been his since the day we met and he finally broke it. Without it I'm so empty the only thing that's left is the pain and the love I still hold for him. It's broken. He broke it and it's still his for the taking. my heart is his forever and always.

Author's Note

Review and comment pls

Reviews

[Julijana]

What I liked was that you keep refering to the heart as "It" throughout your poem. It makes the reader wonder what hurts and what is broken, till the very end. What bothered me was the lack of structure, since I couldn't discern where one thought ended and where the other began. Also use "I" properly. All in all, an interesting though a "heartbreaking" poem.

[Melody heart]

Um thanks for the feedback and I tend to forget to put periods in a lot of the time so yeah. When I wrote this I wasn't thinking about structuring I was trying to get out all the emotions I had bottled from the past year.

[Julijana]

I understand completely what you mean. The poem has more value for you when left as raw as it was when you wrote it. I just think that putting periods will help the reader a bit, and won't disrupt the poem much. It was, in the end, only a suggestion.

[Melody heart]

I agreed with your suggestion and did so I always forget to put periods

[Julijana]

Glad you do, it looks nice. Keep up the good work!

[Melody heart]

I will and thank you!😁