Only With You

As far as I know this is the only romancy thing I've written.

Sitting on the beach with you
Watching the little creatures float by on the shore.
Enjoying the Ocean's spray.
Oh, what a dream, that will never come true...
Because sitting on the beach with you
Among the ocean spray,
Would be my last dream for you...

Author's Note

Tell me guys! Just tell me the truth.

Reviews

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

I really liked it. Now if it were my poem and it is not, i would take (the little) outfrom the second line and (because) the 5th line. Just said that because as I read it my mind removed the words to make it flow to me. But all in all I liked this and think you should continue to venture with poems like this. Thank you for this read.

[Shadow Kat]

Beautiful. I really like it :D

[Melody]

Thank you!

[Kitty Robinson]

Soooooooooooooooo Romantic!

[Owlgirl]

Aw! This is amazing, it's short, but it doesn't need more length, it's full of emotion, and is amazing. I would maybe play around with the number of syllables per line to work on the rythm, but the flow is okay. Great job!

[deepblue04]

I like it. It's short and it gets the point across. I kind of want to hear more about it. I seems kind of cut at a point where more should be added..

[nigrum homonculus]

its good. as far as imagery goes you captured it well. very different approach with you. i like it. heres my advice though. don't try to force it at times.

[Harley (arbiter)]

I like it. I kinda get it but (maybe because I'm multitasking) I'm not getting it completely. It's good though. Different. I like it.