Tornado

Fresh write. Please read.

I thought I'd be up forever, but only stuck

in the calm before the storm, the violent winds

of this tornado speeding like Romeo and Juliet's

short four day hastened love story. Then 

just like the rich heirs of Capulet and Montague,

unforeseen tragedy struck, and freedom was forbid.

Being buried in debris, two feet under

not six. Trapped under beams and torn

carpet, things too heavy for my weak

muscles to lift;things I cannot see

slowly crushing the air from my lungs,

any blood still circulating coming from 

the cavities of my newly bruised and broken 

face. A child crying, a puppy whimpering,

an elderly praying, and sirens fading; I hear 

them, I feel them, I can't see them. Life

is escaping, and my heart is dying, and

my brain is accepting the end. I've been lost

in the tornado, in time the dirt will have 

piled on top of my body and I will not be found,

like a soldier gone missing in action.

And like a head-shot soldier...Pow, I'm dead.

The gates that forbid freedom, now open, 

I take small steps in and weep in joy as

gentle white wings unfurl from my back, lifting me 

up and flying me through Verona's happy town.

Just for me to hear, I say "I am free".

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think.

Reviews

[zainul]

This is a splendid write.
It has incorporated many characters and images.
Thanks for sharing.

[Melody]

Thank you, your review is very appreciated.

[zainul]

You are most welcome.

[Akshita]

A nice piece of ur writing.......keep writing...

[Melody]

Thank you. :)

[BuffyWillowDawnAngelGil..]

That's pretty interesting, but maybe you should include something... freeing in it, like how it lifts you up and for just a moment before you fall from the tornado your above it all and you can see the curve of the earth and stuff.

[Melody]

I've also concluded that it isn't finished, but I haven't a clue as to what kind of "freeing" I'd like to put in there. The topic of freedom is sometimes difficult for my fingers to write. Lol

[BuffyWillowDawnAngelGilesSpike]

Thats really awesome, loved it before, love the edits.

[Melody]

:) Cool. Thanks. :)