Losing

Fresh write. Please read.

He plans to run away to a building

where each day he can be whomever 

he chooses to be for however long.

He plans to run away and be across

from the park so he can swing with

the invisible children at night.

At home he is losing all game,

all sight, all feeling, all scents,

all tastes, and everything. 

At home he is losing all life.

He schedules the departure time

and train arrival. The train station

reveals colors he hasn't seen

and cannot name, sounds he has heard

but not at this volume, smells he hasn't 

smelt with his nose...At home he is 

losing everything, and he plans to run

away to a building where he will be

winning anything he has lost. This

child is smarter but more naive than 

the rest of us. He knows he's losing

life's game, and he plans to run away.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think.

Reviews

[ScottWinchester]

I'm beginning to see an underlying theme in your work, Melanie... a few common denominators, which of course isn't bad at all. Grisham writes law, King writes horror, Koontz writes suspense, and you, it seems, tend to write about the troubled soul.

And you capture the nature of it well, giving just enough information to construct an image but leaving things mysterious enough for multiple interpretations. Good job :)

[Melody]

Thank you. :)