Eating Dinner With Fear

Fresh write.Can you read it please? Uneasy about the title.

The fear is climbing in,

in through the wide open window.

The fear that has been chasing me,

is winning this fearful battle.

I might need to climb back out 

of this rickety old tree house.

The fear of everything has just

climbed in, breaking the floor.

The fear is crawling next to me, 

up the stairs along with my first steps.

The fear will never go away,

because the fear is a fear

that endlessly tracks you down,

to never let you go, and when it does:

you are floating in a black space-

the space of which you fear.

Fear and I are together,

walking with me on the sidewalk,

eating dinner with me in the night.

Asking hand in marriage, like a soul mate,

impossible to not accept, because

the fear of everything is dating me.

And I cannot runaway, because I love the fear 

that is so incapable of feeling, 

and my own incompetence cannot help me.

Author's Note

Just wrote this! Tell me what you think, please? If the words window, fear, and dating, appear highlighted on your screen, I apologize and ask you to ignore them. I don't know how to fix that on my computer.

Reviews

[Schyala]

Really good job! The ideal and concept are really good, but personally i would like to see some improved diction. I think "fear" is used too many times, and there's so much more powerful vocabulary that could add to the piece. Love the ending, very creative :)

[Melody]

Got it, I've been thinking the same thing myself. Thank you Syrinx. :)

[Rhea752]

very nicely done :P

[Melody]

Thank you.

[Bráthair Faolchu]

Several possible meanings, but there is much emotion poured into it! Quite a good read!

[Melody]

Thank you, Faolchu. ^_^

[Sam Gregory]

Interesting indeed, hard to interpret the true meaning as I picked up on several. But the word dating suggests you are dating someone that is invading ur life, ur comfort zone, and u are scared of committing? Idk, just something. Anyway, emotive write, I enjoyed reading. I feel u used the word fear too many times tho, makes u seem to have a lower vocabulary than you actually do. Also the line "climbed in, breaking the door" is contradictory imo.. because if they've climbed in, why would they be in the act of breaking the door? It would already be broken surely. Overall good write, keep it up :) Also, wr should have a chat sometime, it's been awhile haha

[Melody]

Yeah, I couldn't really think of another way of putting it, but I might have to rewrite that whole stanza. Lol. I need to look at that, I can see how the word fear would overwhelm this poem and make people think I have a lower vocabulary. It's not "breaking the door", it says "breaking the floor", as in the weight make the floorboards break.

Thank you. :) We really will.

[Sam Gregory]

Ahh my bad, lolol, altho, my point is still valid as why would it break the floor of had climbed up? :P

[Sam Gregory]

*if it had

[Melody]

It climbed in and its weight was too much for the floor --when it stepped inside.

[Sam Gregory]

Hmmm, touché... but If it was too heavy for the floor... how did it climb the ladder? haha

[Melody]

Fear gets into a person's life no matter what, therefore there was no ladder capable of getting it up there. He climbed the tree.

[Sam Gregory]

:O

[Melody]

What? o.O

[Sam Gregory]

Idk lolol