The Scary Things

I wrote it a long time ago. This was my first poem, ever, to write! :)

Walking alone,
staring at stone,
watching for life fade away.

Doing stuff together is what keeps us together.

Running the track,
turning to ice,
watching sunsets go by fast.
Those are the scary things of life.

Walking alone,
staring at stone,
watching flowers die,
Those are the scary things of life.

I'm wishing,
I'm hoping,
That you were here.
I don't know why cause'
you left me sitting there,
crying there.

Can we be together again?

Author's Note

Tell me what you think. Be strict! Because if I decide to publish then I want it to make sense. SO TELL ME! DON'T BE AFRAID TO HURT ME! I NEED THE CRITIQUES!!

Reviews

[ewest1220]

Alright I can be super critical. I find your voice in all your works to be unique and worthy of at least some attention. (That jazzy thing I keep talking about) The theme of this one is interesting in the fact that you left the wishing part out of it until the very end kept me guessing. I like it. The line "I don't know why cause," is the only part that feels a little forced. Overall a very good poem! Keep it up!

[Melody]

Thank you. And this was my VERY first poem, and I never wanted to edit because of it being my first poem.
I'm glad that you liked it and thank you for being honest. :)

[ewest1220]

I'm blunt usually if I'm not being poetic lol you're welcome thanks for letting me read it

[Melody]

Lol. Me too. :) No problem. Feel welcome to anything. I'd like for my poetry to feel like an escape home for some people. :)

[ewest1220]

Likewise :)