Take Me or Leave Me

Written out of trying to fight love when it's calling

08/17/12

 

 

Take me

Or leave me,

Either way you've

Had me.

 

From the moment you said,

"You'll be fine"

Just today!

That so happened to

Redden my cheeks

In a way that had me

So wanting to speak

And to breathe

And to feel

And to touch

And to taste

And to smell

And to steal from dreams...

To be fearless

And in your arms,

And enchant

And charm.

Leave me breathless

In your wake of realness -

Genuine and hungry.

Fed, but wanting more.

Imploring to yet again explore

You forever evermore.

 

 

　

Reviews

[cilla]

There is a subtle directness about your writing really connects with me. I think maybe it is the lyricist in your heart that speaks songlike in your poetry. So, when I read ...

"And to breathe / And to feel / And to touch / And to taste / And to smell / And to steal from dreams... / To be fearless / And in your arms ..."

I am thinking, simple but bold and declarative. I thought of the Rock Opera Tommy (See me, feel me, touch me, heal me) and how powerful those words are. And that's what spoke to me hear.

And the ending, shades of Poe, taking words well known and turning them into your own ... "Imploring / explore / forever evermore". Yes, all of this works and works well. So, keep on doing those things you do and do so well.

[Melobldnfr]

:-} Thank you so much Cilla. I am genuinely moved and motivated by the expression of your impressions. Xo.

[...]

Mel! The last 6 lines are delicious :) Great work and good to see you back :)

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

In your wake of realness -

Genuine and hungry.

Fed, but wanting more.

Imploring to yet again explore

You forever evermore..............excellent Mel

[Melobldnfr]

Thanks Neva. Have missed hearing from you, and am doing what I can to catch up at least some on my read requests. I just posted an expanded version of this poem called "These Facets Forevermore". Xo.

[Lily Mae]

The desire for more is all consuming.. do we really ever get enough when we have something that fuels us so much? excellent write..xo

[Melobldnfr]

Thank you. Xo. I've expanded this poem in a version I just posted called "These Facets Forevermore".

[eglantine]

hmmmm crushes are both sweet and torturous. Instead of listing all of the senses (taste, touch etc) replace them with images that display those... how does he/she taste? or how does the speaker imagine him/her to taste? etc.

[Melobldnfr]

Thanks. And you are right. I guess the reason I didn't delve into the images of this person is because this way it reads as I feel. To explain, these: breathe, feel, touch, taste; smell...are not just senses, but also verbs. It has never taken me long to acquire feelings, but in the past I've given so much of myself so quickly as to become more than distracted, but submersed and out of control and lost. I've been through so much this way, the fact I still have any nerve at all is outstanding! But to me, leaving these as verbs lends to the affect that for the first time in a long time I am allowing myself to not only feel these things, but to not lose my head and lose myself or control. They are things I can do, or not do. If I do these things, I am choosing to do them. It's not out of losing myself in someone else, becoming less to boost or bolster someone outside myself, and I am not allowing myself to be overwhelmed or overcome and enveloped.

I really do see what you mean, though. Perhaps in time I will become braver. Afterall, I wanted to let...how did you say, my crush...read it. And with things being so new, I opted to be kinda...safe. Xo.

[Melobldnfr]

*See new version called "These Facets Forevermore". ;-)