Things You Gave To Me

Two a.m. - I cry out cos I’m still awake

Body is wilting beneath my mistakes

Struggling to hold all these things that you left, though I didn’t ask you

And this inventory rolls like an endless machine

All the scars that have built up beneath your regime

Find me blaming myself, although I know that it’s not true

 

Because you left me with doubt when I should have been strong

And you led me down paths that turned out so wrong

And you made me ashamed of this reel in my head

It plays and replays each night I regret

You left me so broken and beaten and battered

You left me so shaken, my confidence shattered

These wounds run so deep, I can never be free

From all of these things that you gave to me

 

Three a.m. - clock is ticking as minutes crawl by

The next wave is anger as I wonder why

I’m stuck fast in the mud, just waiting to wake up from this dream

And I feel like I’ve still got one foot in the past

As the earth opens up, I’m sinking so fast

Call out for help but there’s no one around to hear me scream

 

Because you filled up my head with your dangerous lies

And now I can’t trust, no matter how hard I try

You left me believing I’m worth nothing at all

You left me on the edge, just waiting to fall

This journey seems endless, though I fight and I shout

Seems I’m just as far in as I’ll ever be out

When I look in the mirror, all that I see

Are all of these things that you gave to me

Four a.m. and I’m quiet as the sun starts to rise

The darkness is fading as I realise

That I must stop allowing your shadow to leave me bared

And I must end your fallout before it takes all that’s good

To learn how to breathe, oh I wish that I could

But if the worst is all over then why am I still scared?

 

Because you took away as much as you gave

You cleaved away pieces, so little was saved

The person I was can never return

But I swear to you someday, I’m going to learn

I want to believe in the words of my friends

I want to show courage as I begin life again

It’s not starting over, that cannot be

I cannot be rid of the things you gave me

 

But I can take on new things that belong just to me

And I can try to step forward with forced bravery

I can learn to accept a hand stretched out in aid

I can learn to have faith in the foundation I’ve laid

When the nightmares comes crashing, I can’t run and hide

And if all falls to ruin, I can say that I tried

I hope that someday I will learn to see

That I’m more than the things that you gave to me

Reviews

[W R Stowe]

This is so much a result of being involved in a domestic violent relationship that leaves a person just like this,they belittle you to make you think you have no worth and they beat you down and apologise and do it again an endless cycle.I can feel the pain and agony that was suffered very good presentation

[RT Belle]

Thank you so much for your review. This is an emotional piece for me and I'm glad to have shared it.

[W R Stowe]

we have all been down this road at one time or another and your welcome

[Brandon Wesley Mckay]

Has this been put to music? Please tell me this has been put to music.

....this needs to be put to music.

[RT Belle]

Not as yet but I would love to put it to music. I know how I want it to sound so hopefully one day soon.

[Jamestown]

Incredible piece of writing, I also had a very painful divorce and went through very dark thoughts. I enjoyed reading this and it honestly brought into focus how far I have come since then. I will pray for the same for you.

[RT Belle]

Thank you for your feedback. This writing is really personal for me and to hear that it resonated with someone else makes me glad that I shared it.