I have a life

Ever have to contemplate?

as my stone hard brother burns his time away with a hypnotic controller, he engulfs the infinite time that he can't spare for anything else. My life on the other side, is conjoined with success and failure that inflames the possibility of not knowing which is which. My twitching fingers penetrate the vibrant, silky glass while I mourn over the dejection of life. As i get older, day after day i look for ways to excite myself, to ignite the fuse that dwells to burn inside of me, to have the ability to desire the wakening of another day. I can say that there is rejoice in my life, but only to an extent. It's like having a present. A present that is waiting in the unknown. It waits for you, pops out when you least expect it, like death. This is no ordinary present; it has no physical awareness to others but yourself. When you receive it, it can be something you longed for or something that you feel is a waste of time. For me, i wait patiently and my time will come. i will find what my purpose here in life is and it may not be what i want. if it is something i want, it will be worth the wait because i will be looked upon as an idol, someone that had a purpose. Lets just hope i get it eventually though.