Girl

This is just about how I'm feeling, and I know that's how writing generally works, but I really needed to let this out.

This was mine.
I couldn't have it either.

And you crossed the line,

by making me lose control.

Reality slipped through my hands,

and washed away through your heart.

And then nothing else mattered.

A masochistic girl,

cries for sunlight to return.

She loves him.

He doesn't love her.

But she's a fighter, that one.

She won't back down,

even when she knows she's wrong.

Because her face

is not the one he pictures

before he sleeps.

Her nights remain empty,

unless nightmares come to greet her,

for she knows her past

that never existed,

the one she relives in the back of her mind,

is all something that's irrelevant.

She'd do anything

to have back her sanity,

and to not be sickly in love

with the boy that never cared.

<|3

 

Author's Note

Please comment. :)

Reviews

[MelissaMassacre]

Thanks, Zer0. :)
I really appreciate the reveiw, and I tried commenting your poem, "Passing Whisper"...I believe it was?
Anyway, I really enjoyed it, and thought highly of it.
I think you're an amazing writer. :)
Have you considered writing books?
You'd be great at it!
Anyway,
thanks again.
Hopeing to hear from you soon. :)

[zer0]

A good poem. You really capture the emotion and angst that comes with unreciprocated love.

In terms of formatting the way you have bolded certain words works to great effect.

The rhythm is fine, it flows quite well even though the line lengths aren't consistent.

The language use is clear and simple which works well to convey your intended theme.

All in all, good work. Keep it up.