Ending Forever

The prick of a rose
Leaves a darkened red stain
As the seduction of pleasure
Arises from pain

The forbidden Eden fruits
Never tasted so sweet
As uncontrolled desires
Lay bare at my feet

The oceans so blue
Deep and mysterious
Pull me under
And make me delirious

The intricate currents
Of rivers so deep
Run through my soul
And become my defeat

The seekers of death
The angels in black
They tempt me to go
And never look back

I wish to say no
Not now and not ever
But with this denial
Is my ending forever

Reviews

[Norah]

Well written and I really like the style!

[Anjali]

This poem is so Deep! I loved it, the rhyming scheme is on fleek, everything is amazing! Just beautiful!

[Melissa Kester]

Thank you so much!

[Anjali]

You are very welcome

[Davidgeo]

That's some fancy wordplay. Well written

You should smoke some grass.

[Lovecraft]

I like your choice of words and the opening lines were enjoyably stimulating. If you are relatively new to writing, I have to say I see a lot of potential in your craft.

This is a good poem for sure.

I do think it requires perhaps a tad of revision, that's all. Otherwise, I think it is quite well-done with some good visuals. :)

[Melissa Kester]

Thank you. I am relatively new. However I am finding that I really enjoy poetry and I would like to expand my versatility and vocabulary. I am also trying to work with metaphors a bit more which is sort of how this particular piece began. Thank you for your advice and criticism :)