Chapter 12: Holly (Part I)

Like the tides we have our highs we have our lows but there will always be something pulling me back to shore back to you.

     “Good morning.” His voice was hoarse and I had no voice at all. He just chuckled as I tried to explain the fact that I was speechless. He handed me a cup then left the tent. I sighed, missing my chance of telling him where I was going today-well actually if he could point me in the right direction, being a local and all. I drank the strange liquid coming to the conclusion it was some sort of tea. Ezra padded into the tent and for the first time her presence hadn’t sent my heart racing; maybe I’m getting too comfortable and too trusting of things I do not fully understand.  I took this chance to get changed a bit uncomfortable at the moment to have a shower in a strange place. Like a twelve year old, I snuck back into bed to change -not wanting any unexpected visitors walking in on me. I felt a little sick at the thought that I didn’t have a shower and that my makeup was more of the dead then a Prima Dona. I looked around for any source of water in amongst the maze of odds and ends. I found a tap and filled up the bucket below it. I washed my face checking in the tarnished mirror every now and then to see if the entire make up was erased from my face. I was a little taken back by my reflection, I was quite plain. I sighed and it got me thinking.
Thief was very distant this morning, compared to last night and even before the show I could tell he worried and was aware of my existence as friend or accomplices in our travel across the world. However, he had never been honest or open about his feelings -if any- towards me. Was this because of my appearance? Last night he was very in control and certain of me and even though I kissed him first it seemed to relax him a bit, like I had broken a barrier and now things could be simpler without the angst of the unknown and the fear of unrequited feelings. I knew I looked different but I was preoccupied with the thought of delivering a good performance that I didn’t really fully grasp the extent of change my face had endured by applying a few unknown substances like a mask or war paint. Had Thief noticed what scared me a little -well the most, that he wouldn’t see me the same way without. I was just a kid,a plain and fragile faced girl -instead of a striking and beautiful woman. I tried not to think about it, telling myself that maybe whatever Slade and Thief were arguing about was just an excuse to put those barriers back up and go back to where we were in the beginning. Although this is a good thing because it gives me a chance to re think and maybe not act so rationally next time we are alone together. It gives me a chance to separate myself for a while as I try to piece together his past and my own heritage.