Chapter 7: Holly (Part II)

The art of grief and affection...

“Deputy?”
     “Please call me Tim”
     “Tim, can I stay the night? Well what's left of it...”
     “I wasn’t even planning on sleeping tonight. I’ll take care of you, I promise. Nothing is going to hurt you”. His sweet lips against mine followed his soothing words and I felt unlike I’d ever felt before. I kissed him back softly; I’d never known anything like this, what was this? Was this wrong? It felt so good and right. I never thought of a man in this way, I guess I’m just still as naive as a child to the world awaiting me as a woman. His kisses traced my neck and I felt uncomfortable but in a way that I didn’t want him to stop. The fire crackled and cast dancing shadows upon us. I scrambled back away from him, and he looked at me innocent. A tear ran down my face, and the waterfall began again, I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed the images of such a horrendous night mare still etched inside my brain. Tim scooped my up and tucked my in the bed the size of a whale. He pulled up a chair and sat by my side. The pillow beneath me smelt of him and it calmed me. My tears slowing stopped and his face was the first and last thing I saw as my eyes became blurred and my perception of reality hazy.
     The faint deep sound of strings and a husky voice lifted me from my already light sleep. I pushed the covers away and hopped out of bed. The chair beside it was empty. The room seemed lighter and the smell of smoke filled the house. It must be almost dawn. Tim was hunched over a guitar as he sat on his couch, singing softly the words of a song I hadn’t heard before. My hand brushed his shoulder as I made my way around him and sat silently by his side. I kissed his neck playfully.
     “I have to go. But thank you, really. Thank you...” I whispered, and left without another word. I walked aimlessly back to my cabin, my lips still felt sensitive and swollen from his kiss. My door was open, unlocked and vulnerable. I slipped slightly inside and into the shower. I combed my hair and put some old cut off jeans and a white blouse. For the first time in what seems like forever, I entered my Nan’s room and placed her favourite necklace around my neck, an opal that she bought in the south east island called New Zealand. I shut her door behind me and packed my bag, tears pooling up in my eyes, I blinked them away. My caretaker will come any day now, Tim said it will take him three days, whether he left straight away or not shall determine when he arrives. I turned around and screamed; the sight of the horse dead, heart ripped out. I collapsed to my knees in front of it, it was white and pure "it was his horse. I cried and cried, I reached out to Lacy and she disappeared like the frost on my windows. I had imagined it, I was losing my mind.