Who am I?

I recently found this buried in my closet, in a mostly unused notebook, so i decided to share it here.

My middle name should've been misunderstood.

they see one person and, i know another.

I'm disconnected.

They think they've figured me out, but they haven't.

Still to this day, i'm the only person who really knows me.

I just can't understand why i don't feel like a whole person anymore.

Misunderstood.

Because who's to say i can't be great without a god?

Why can't i just be who i am?

Am i spiteful?

Who do i go to when i feel like i can't take anymore?

I'm having a hard time understanding myself now, too.

Am i who everyone says i am?

Am i even who i think i am?

I don't feel insecure about anyone here.

Just my person at this point.

It's so hard to stand alone.

I don't want to be another waste of a young heart.

Everything around me is everything.

And today, I'm feeling everything.

I can feel the music,

I can feel all the emotions,

The comments present and past

I can feel the clothes being put away, the wind, the sky, the birds.

Sleep is no longer just sleep,

It's peace

Dreams

Wonder and it's so far away.

It's pain and sorrow,

But for once it isn't family.

The pedestal i would hold myself on,

The one i used to see is no longer there.

So where do i stand?

Am i there on that pedestal?

Am i there, on the ground?

Am i swimming somewhere in the middle?

Where there's nothing but nothing.

Just a vast darkness where i stay broken

And where i become the person they see?

What if i'm broken?

If everything should mean as much as it does to me.

Should i be as thin as the air?

Float through life,

In the place i visited once?

Should i see the colors?

The lights and the joy?

Do i have a choice?

Author's Note

any comments are appreciated.

Reviews

[Chris]

Quite a perspective... and with a lot of honesty. You would do justice to being beside on a seawall at 3 AM as we watch the waves marching ashore removing all traces of ...our being.

[Rindou]

Thank you. To be honest this is refreshing. I haven’t had a nice review in.... awhile.

[Chris]

Their loss... nice meeting you.