Dreams abandoned

Dreams on the line

 Left out to dry

Hanging there lifeless

Lined up in a row

*

The sun is not shining

Still wet and dreary

They hang there abandoned

The wind just won’t blow

*

While sleeping I wear them

I dress up in style

In blissful ignorance

On stages of yellow

*

I’m singing my heart out

My worries abandoned

My message heard gladly

by only my pillow

*

M.J.S.

2-18-08

Reviews

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

I must say that i really liked it..i respect your attempt you shouldnt even feel scared that you couldnt do it you are a good writer..When your stepping out of the comfort of rhyming poems it is always best to remember that you have to fill in the non-rhyming gap with good imagery..you must have words that capture the reader..and flow just as well as all of your rhyming poems..i think you did this very well though..excellent start to a new beginning..i really enjoyed the read...
Well From One Word-Play Poet To The Next...Always Remember To Write With Your Heart!

s~Shanty~s

[J. Hampton]

" Do - You ' ....

No need to take on every from...go with what works for you..
I struggle not to rhyme myself ...:::: I' addicted -for real ::: shhhh...

I like this....
the metaphor of dreams ...like laundry
hanging ....

something...we sometimes ....put on the back-burner...or shelve altogether


enjoyed this ...with the rhyme

Blesssssssssss

[__Flaw__]

I just felt a lot of sad ripples in this one. A reflection of helplessness and vulnerability.
Who said u need words to give rhythm to ur poem...as this one's a perfect example of rhythm otherwise :)
CHeers.

[None]

You did a fabulous job! I like both rhymes and free form. I really enjoyed the first two parts and thought it was very original to write so well on the clothes hanging out....
"The sun is not shining
Still wet and dreary
They hang there abandoned
The wind just won't blow"
I found this about the wind very thought provoking.
Your last two parts I read over and saw how they correlated to the first two.
Great words and imagery throughout here!! Very enjoyable.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Great effort! Most people just can't get into rhyme!

Good write!

-Gabe