The Lake Upon The Mountains

I like to observe nature and natural beauty. Moreover I have been to some good scenic places. Therefore, it often finds place as a topic of my amateur poems... Well I live on a lake city.. D;

The Lake Upon The Mountains was as emerald

as it can be,

With shades of ocean blue and ocean green

as far as one can see.

'Twas surrounded with hill tops enshrouded with

floating silver fog,

With little marshes here or there and

here or there a bog.

A mischievous river took the excess water 

swiftly down the hill,

But even then the mighty lake had 

more water still!

For nineteen brooks and two small streams

always ran down to it,

Adding to whatever it had in plenty though

just bit by bit.

Along the lake and over the hill were forests

lush green and fine,

With sturdy Sal thick Cedar and The

Old Tree Pine.

I once went there with my friends and you

 already know what I saw,

Everything was green and fine as if that 

was the only law!

There are hills and fog, marshes and bogs,rivers,

waterfalls and fountains,

But the only thing to be seen first will surely be

The Lake Upon The Mountains.

Author's Note

Please if you like this poem can you please tell which two lines are the best...THANKS!!

Reviews

[Akshat♥]

i really like these lines:
"Along the lake and over the hill were forests
lush green and fine,
With sturdy Sal thick Cedar and The
Old Tree Pine."
you really write well..i can see that:)
i also love nature..its beauty..
moving to different places with friends..
you are almost there..you just need time to improve..
keep writing:)

[Eric Jameson]

Very, very mature writing. However, it could use more perfectly written form and a wee bit more descriptive essence. It has great rhyme scheme, but it needs more fineness in style. Very good, good job.

[Mehul Rwat]

Thanks for giving your time to my poem.. Well it was the first one I decided to put up here.. it has been a year since and I have been long since striving for that finesse you mentioned. You will notice the change if you read my recent writes..

[Rajat]

u know i like ur poetry... every line
great effort

[Eric Cox]

This is a beautiful poem. The first 2 lines are my favorite. Great job on this write.

[Extant]

The last two lines are my favourites. *Smile* It's so joyful and beautiful and, of course, I'm a sucker for rhymes.

[Deadly Nightshade]

It is as good as any of your poems. I have read all.
My favourite lines are:-
"Along the lake and over the hill were forests
lush green and fine,
With sturdy Sal thick Cedar and The
Old Tree Pine."

[Stella]

I loved this poem because of how it rhymed and because of how I was able to imagine everything inside my head.
I really liked these lines:
A mischievous river took the excess water

swiftly down the hill,

But even then the mighty lake had

more water still!

Great Job!

[Laughing-Bear]

My Dear Writing Friend,
I felt the below verse made this poem jump.

Blessings, Laughing-Bear

'Twas surrounded with hill tops enshrouded with
floating silver fog,
With little marshes here or there and
here or there a bog.

[Laughing-Bear]

My Dear Writing Friend,
You have with great skill painted a word picture that can be seen so very clearly. There is something about a lake, like a fire, begs one to just sit and stare into it by the hour. I hope you some day live on a lake city! Well written.

Blessings, Laughing-Bear

[Lively]

Lovable and beautiful. Picturesque!!!!