Half the smiles, twice the troubles

I can't believe how well it's going
This whole day has been a blast
So happy, I can't stop smiling
So scared, how long will it last?

I knew that this would happen
I knew something would go wrong
Knew my heart would fall and shatter
Knew that I wouldn't belong
Sleepless nights and tear stains
Are all that I know now
I want to escape this madness
And take my final bow

It's morning, I feel better
Maybe it wasn't that bad after all
Some smiles and some laughter
Make my troubles seem petty and small

Oh no, now the laughter's gone
And friends, they've faded away
I'm standing here all on my own
Too scared to face another day
Hopes falling like autumn leaves
Voices raised to the skies
Twisted mind and sunken dreams
Dry throat and puffy eyes

But now the sun is shining
And I'm sure that I'm okay
I worry too much, it's nothing
And it's going to be a good day

Good? I think I jinxed it
My life is tearing apart
I'm trying to grab at the seams
But I don't know where to start
Is anyone there? Can you hear me?
I've screamed and lost my voice
Does anyone care? Will you help me?
I can't see beyond this void

But then I look in the mirror
And give myself a smile
And I start to feel happy again
I start to feel worthwhile

Yet, whether I'm running free
Or feeling trapped inside a bubble
There's only one filter to my world:
Half the smiles and twice the trouble

(It's a human tendency to turn a blind eye to all the good things in life and focus on the bad. Our smiles seem a moment too short and our tears seem to flow through time. I've tried to express that in the form of this poem, with stanzas of 4 lines for happiness, and stanzas of 8 lines for sadness)