It wasn't my fault

"It wasn't my fault!", he shouted and, the sound reverberated through the changing room at Wembley University. Jack was a scrawny teenager, with a mop of golden hair and freckles that resembled the stars in the sky. The P.E. coach, Mr.Campbell, stood in front of him with a disappointed look on his face. Jack had been caught with nothing but a skirt and lipstick on his mouth and teeth in the changing room. His eyes had filled up with tears and he tried to explain how he'd been bullied into it. Nobody ever seemed to believe him.

Mr.Campbell headed to the principal's office with a now fully-clothed, red-faced Jack. Jack had been bullied by his peers since he was 8 years old. 7 years later, not much had changed. He was still the weakest kid in class, often shoved into walls or tripped down the corridors. The other kids' snide remarks pressured him into not letting his parents know what was going on at school. Even his seniors had begun to notice his helplessness. The jocks would use him as their rugby ball, the girls would sneer at his posture, which even his father wasn't able to correct. He'd sit alone at lunch, and was always alert and on the look out for a nasty senior wanting to shove his tray down his shirt. His frightened looks and hasty moves made him the subject of more humiliation. Every night he practiced walking with an air of confidence, play conversations in his head and think of what to say, until he drifted off to sleep. But more often than not, everyday was worse than the last.

There was only one person that kept him going. Not his mother, or five year old sister, but his neighbour Michael Rogers. They had been neighbours for the past 5 years and every moment shared in these years had been a blissful escape from Jack's life. Michael didn't care that Jack was skinny, he didn't care that nobody else liked him, he only enjoyed the company. he always told him not to care about what others said and told him that they were just trying to clip his wings because he was the only one who could really fly. Michael had a warmth and kindness that Jack had never seen, to even in the movies. Perhaps that is what led Jack to discover himself in the lost crowd. He realised he didn't like girls like the other boys did. They were mean and vain and always stabbing each other in the back. He realised he liked Jack. It felt wrong, because he hadn't heard of a boy loving a boy, but at the same time it felt so right. He wondered if he should tell anyone, and stayed up many nights wondering what they would say, until doubt got the better of him and he decided to keep his secret to himself.

Secrets have a way of getting out and soon enough, jack's worst fear came true. Michael met him before tennis practice one day and told Jack about his new girlfriend. As he went on and on about how amazing she was, all Jack could hear was his own heart shattering into thousands of pieces. As they arrived at the court, Michael saw his girl and quickly walked towards her. Overwhelmed, Jack whispered, "But I love you.." and looked down at his own two feet feeling his tears well up. He turned to leave and saw a big burly senior blocking his way. He had a curious smile on his face and he swung his arm around Jack's shoulder as he walked him to the Changing rooms. As Jack opened his locker, he heard the other boys snigger and whisper saying something that sounded like "gay". Jack didn't know what it meant and he turned to ask but in a flash they pounced on him, ripping his shirt and stuffing his head into a pink, frilly skirt. Next moment, they were holding his head back and rubbing lipstick on to his face. It all happened so fast, he didn't realise that they were running, nor did he understand why, until he saw Mr.Campbell's shoes approach him.

Back in the principal's office, Jack was experiencing a storm of emotions. he barely heard what the principal said, save a few things here and there like "inappropriate" and "speak up". Somewhere between "don't hesitate to report violence" and "cheer up a bit, boy", Jack realised that his parents didn't bring him into this world to be abused for his preferences, looked down at because of his appearance, or mocked for his silence. As he heard himself being dismissed, he realised that he wasn't living, but existing. His thoughts were caged, so was his spirit. His hope flew away with the birds above. The sound of his footsteps home reminded him of the rhythm of his beating heart, a rhythm without the presence of a melody. His life (or rather, his existence) had turned into a dark hole that kept closing in on him. Was it wrong to be thin and have freckles? Was it wrong to be someone who is nice to their parents? Was it wrong to not show off? Was it really that wrong to like Michael? The questions flooded his thoughts, drowning his want for answers. Feeling giddy, he walked past the lawn to his door, turned the key and went up to his room.

Finally alone, Jack took a deep breath, trying to breathe out and release his emotions of pain, fear and dread. He glanced at his desk, at his unfinished science model waiting to be cut out. His eyes washed over the stationary that had been laid out, lingering on the silvery grey blade. Only the edge was a little rusted. He scribbled a few words onto a spare sheet, kept it on the floor, and slowly sat down next to it with the blade in hand, closing his eyes. Fifteen minutes later, his mother walked in, her voice hoarse from calling his name. She let out a scream, shocked to see her son on the floor with a bleeding wrist and glazed eyes. She ran to him, sobbing, and saw the sheet he had laid out. On it she saw her dead son's handwriting. Tears fell like rain from her eyes as she read his parting message, only four words. For the last time, he had tried to explain, with the only excuse he could find- "It wasn't my fault."

Reviews

[Jxne]

The story is so touching. But this is what is actually happening in our world. People degrade each other for being who they are. It is really terrible.

[Jacob Clifford]

This story is painfully realistic. I just don't even have words... People can be so cruel to each other. It's terrible how often these kind of things happen.